Freezing Point
by Koudelka
Summary: Saifuu... Long. This is one of my favorite stories that I've written. I enjoyed writing it, I hope you'll all enjoy reading it... Please, review.
1. Prologue -Despondent-

^Fall from the heavens... And dissolve... Be forgotten; but used...^  
  
-Despondent- Prolouge.  
  
~Fujin.  
  
  
I tried. I really made an effort. For seven god damned years... I tried! But I've failed... And I will try and move on. I'll stay around, of course... In our house here in Balamb... Maybe just to keep Raijin happy... Maybe to make *him* happy... But perhaps he'd rather me gone. I don't know anymore... I just need to move on from him... Seifer... Seifer Almasy. I've tried to be nice... to him. I've done everything I could for him... yet, I've not received one hint of appreciation. So, thats it. I don't need to be alone anymore. I can find someone else to love me.  
  
So, I continued to glare at the rain pelting down outside. Be a raindrop... Fall from the heavens... And dissolve... Be forgotten but used... To help.  
  
"Hey, is there somethin' out there?" Raijin asks.  
  
"NEGATIVE."  
  
"Oh, okay, ya know?! I just figgered that ya might wanna get to bed... Its one AM..."  
  
"SEIFER? SLEEP?" I ask.  
  
"Nah, he's still at work." Working late... He's a Dollet solider. I work at a cafe' here in Balamb... I should work more. I only work from 9am to 11pm. Seifer works from 9am to 1am.  
  
"...AFFIRMATIVE. YOU. REST." I say.  
  
"Alright, man." Raijin works down at the Train station. 10am to 5pm. He left and headed to our bed room. Seifer gets his own... We have to share one... As if we are his children. Yet... I still... revere him. Dammit, no, I don't, I'm moving on... with life. But to where? I continue to gaze out the window, but then I hear the door open. He's home. I don't greet him or turn even. I hear him toss his trenchcoat on the sofa.  
  
"Hey, Fuu."  
  
"GREETINGS..." I say dully.  
  
"...Yeah." He walks into his bedroom. He's not coming back out, he goes directly to sleep... like every night... in our small house... in Balamb... where there is... no hope. I'm 23... and still... hopelessly... despondent.  
  



	2. -Foolish-

^ I left. Maybe that was one of my biggest mistakes.^  
  
-Foolish-  
  
~Seifer.  
  
Ignorant bitch. Doesn't she see?! Compared to the rest of the world... I'm nice to her. I care about her... But, no. She doesn't pick up on anything... So, everynight, I just come in here and sleep... Just two words... that's all we ever say... Why can't you understand, dammit?!  
  
The next morning, I woke up and took a shower. Sure enough, Fujin was already showered, and sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Sometimes I wonder if she ever sleeps. I walk into the kitchen and grab some coffee that she already made, and lean against the counter, drinking it.  
  
"So, are you working this Sunday?" I ask.  
  
"YES."  
  
"You don't have to, I think we are all set this week, since Raijin worked until seven the other night."   
  
"SUNDAY. WORK."  
  
"A-alright..." She's so difficult... yet... I wonder, does she work just to get away from me? No way.  
  
"I LEAVE. NOW."  
  
"Its still early. Its only seven-thirty!"  
  
"EARLY. MORE MONEY."  
  
"Fujin, we don't need it."  
  
"COULD USE."  
  
"Well... not really."  
  
"HAVE NOTHING. TO DO, BETTER."  
  
"...Yeah." I say. I don't agree. You could sleep, Fuu. She stands up, putting her mug in the sink, and walks past me. I don't say anything to her... Maybe thats why... she hates me.  
  
~~~  
  
I came home at one-thirty AM, around the usual time. I expected to see Fujin staring out the window, but instead Raijin was.  
  
"Hey, Raijin." I say, tossing my trenchcoat on the sofa.  
  
"Man, Seifer!"  
  
"What's wrong?" I ask, running my hand through my wet hair. Still raining.  
  
"Fujin isn't home yet..."  
  
"What?" I ask, trying not to show any hint as to how worried I am.  
  
"She never came home."  
  
"What time does she usually come home?"  
  
"Eleven-thirty, ya know?!"  
  
"Oh... well, uh, have you called the cafe'?"  
  
"Nah... didn't think of it..."  
  
"...Fine." I will. I walked over to the phone and picked it up. Dialing the number I had memorized, I wondered where she was.  
  
"Hello, Balamb Cafe'."  
  
"Yeah, whatever. Is Fujin Sanada working now?"  
  
"No... she left earlier with some guy." What?! A guy?!  
  
"...What?! Who?"  
  
"I dunno, she said his name... was... Squall, Squall Leonheart." Leonheart?! Dammit! No fucking way!  
  
"No way, are you sure?!"  
  
"...Positive, sir." I slammed the phone down.  
  
"What is it, ya know?" Raijin asked.  
  
"She's fine, don't fucking worry."  
  
Raijin had gone to bed. But I stayed awake, worried as hell. At three, I'd go out and look for her. But then, at 2:50, the door opened, and in came Fujin. She stopped dead in her tracks when she seen me sitting on the sofa, shining my Hyperion.  
  
"Fujin. Where the hell have you been?!"  
  
"I was, um... working late..."  
  
"On Leonheart." I finished for her, standing up.  
  
"SEIFER?"  
  
"I called the cafe', Fujin... Dammit... Squall?"  
  
"YOUR BUSINESS NOT!"  
  
"Oh, yes it is."  
  
"...You don't care." Oh... she's talking normal. "You're just concerned because it is Squall. You don't want Squall to have anything you... you... Dammit, I don't know. Either way, we didn't do anything. And don't act like you even care. ...I know you don't." She walked into her bedroom. I do care... Really I do... Maybe I just don't act that way enough... But I love you, Fujin.   
  
I couldn't sleep. So, a half hour later I walked into their bedroom. Raijin was snoring loudly. Fujin has to deal with this, eh? I walked over to Fujin's bed. I could sense she wasn't asleep, so I was extra quiet.   
  
"Fujin."  
  
"Mm?" She rolled over and looked at me. She was a little surprised that it was me though.  
  
"...I apologize... I mean you have the right to fuck every guy in Balamb." Thats not the way I meant it to come out... But it had come out that way.  
  
"...Go away, Seifer." No... I really did want to apologize.  
  
"...Fuu..."  
  
"I said, leave, before you cause anymore damage."  
  
"..." I left. Maybe that was one of my biggest mistakes. I didn't sleep. I don't think Fujin did either, but so, what else is new? At five, Fujin came out of the bathroom, having taken a shower. She made coffee, and sat across from me, in her usual seat.  
  
"SEIFER. DID NOT SLEEP. NEED SLEEP."  
  
"Well, you, you never sleep..."  
  
"SO? CAN HANDLE SELF."  
  
"And you think I can't?!"  
  
"NO. CAN'T HANDLE OTHERS."  
  
"Stop it! I'm so sick of you. All you do is bitch, dammit!" No... I didn't mean to say that to you... Fujin. I almost said, "No... I didn't mean to say that..." But she scowled at me, turned, and left.  
  



	3. -Ignorant-

^ I stared down at the floor, but I could feel his eyes burning into me.^  
  
-Ignorant-  
  
~Fujin  
  
Squall had come by the cafe'. He asked me to get off shift and go talk to him. I did, of course. We talked about things... but I never once mentioned Seifer. He kissed me... I was surprised, then he asked me to meet him here again, when I got off of work the next night. Seifer got mad at me. He doesn't care. He just hates Squall... I'm hurting now... Seifer hates me... he really does...  
  
"...Fujin." I look up from my booth, where I sip coffee, during my ten-minute break. Its Seifer.  
  
"YES?" He sits. I get nervous, but I don't show it.  
  
"...I wanted to... apologize."  
  
"WORK?" I ask, wondering why he isn't in work.  
  
"...I didn't go." But you always work...  
  
"EXPLAIN."  
  
"...I couldn't." Why?  
  
"WHY?"  
  
"I needed to apologize to you..." What? You skipped work just to apologize...?  
  
"WHAT FOR?"  
  
"How I acted... this morning, and last night." Wow.  
  
"FORGIVEN." I say blankly.  
  
"No... really, you have the right to do whatever... with Squall." Oh... so it doesn't bother you... I just nod.  
  
"B-BREAK. OVER."  
  
"...Fuu." I stood up and walked back into the kitchen. It was so hard to do, yet had to be done. I'm not gonna hurt for you anymore...  
  
At 11pm, I ended my shift, and was trying to decide whether to go home and see Seifer, or to go to the docks to see Squall, but, Squall came to walk me to the docks. I wouldn't stay as long tonight. We talked for awhile.  
  
"Can you just talk normal, Fujin?" He asked. No... I only talk normal to... Seifer, on occasion... I still love Seifer... I can't help that.  
  
"NO. TOO MUCH STRAIN." I lied.  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
"RINOA. YOU. BREAK UP?" I ask, working to change the subject.  
  
"Er, yeah, we did."  
  
"SORRY."  
  
"N-no, its okay." ... "So, what about you and Seifer?"  
  
"WHAT ABOUT?"  
  
"You still in contact with him?"  
  
"Y-YES."  
  
"He live close to here?" Why do you care?  
  
"WITH ME. AND RAIJIN."  
  
"...I see."  
  
"BETTER GO. BYE." I stand up and walk away from him.  
  
"I'll come to your house tommarow." NO!  
  
"N-NO!" I say, turning around. But he's gone... dammit. Seifer nor I work tommarow. Raijin does though... Damn! Its around midnight when I get home. I walk into the living room. Empty. Raijin must already be in bed. Seifer is in the kitchen, I notice when I walk in. He looks up. He has a look on his face I've never seen before... Hurt?  
  
"H-hi." I mutter.  
  
"Hey, Fuu..." He goes back to staring down into his mug.  
  
"What are you doing up?" I ask.  
  
"I dunno. Couldn't sleep."  
  
"Oh..." I sit across from him.  
  
"Raijin brought home a cat..." He says.  
  
"From where?"  
  
"I dunno. I'm gonna get ridda it tommarow."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"You see Squall again?" He asks finally.   
  
"...Yes." I answer, wanting to disapear, but not able to lie to him.  
  
"...I see..."  
  
"I'm sorry." Why did I apologize? Its not like I did anything wrong...  
  
"You didn't do anything..."  
  
"... You should go get some sleep." I suggest.  
  
"Nah, I'll be home all day tommarow..." Squall... dammit!  
  
"...Alright." I stared down at the floor, but I could feel his eyes burning into me. Seifer, stop it. Please?  
  
"I'm... I'm gonna go sleep." I say, finally.  
  
"Good night, Fujin." He says. Something's wrong... Something has got to be wrong. I stand up and walk over to him. I crouch, so I am at eye level.  
  
"Seifer... what's wrong?" I ask.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Tell me... please?"  
  
"I'm just tired, Fuu..."  
  
"...Mmkay... Good night... Seifer." I walk into my bedroom... and... sleep.  
  
The next morning I wake up. I'm in shock, since I slept. Raijin has already left for work. I can hear something from the living room.  
  
"God damned son of a bitch! Get the fuck out of my house!" At first, I must admit, I thought he was talking to me... I was scared. But then I thought maybe Squall had come. But I was wrong on both accounts. He was talking to Raijin's cat, which scampered out the front door as soon as I emerged from my room.  
  
"S-Seifer?"  
  
"Fucking cat shit on the sofa."  
  
"I'll clean it..." I say.  
  
"No. We have to send it out. Its coming from Raijin's paycheck! I'm not payin' for it!"  
  
"Alright... I'll um, call that place... in Dollet. They are the closest."  
  
"...Fine."  
  
~~~  
  
About fifteen minutes after the men came and picked up the sofa, Seifer went to bed, saying he was tired. And Squall arrived shortly after.  
  
"GREETINGS." I say.  
  
"Thanks..." He kissed me on the cheek... Why? Well, whatever, it felt good... to be cared about.  
  
"OFFER PLACE TO SIT. BUT, SOFA SENT. CLEANED."  
  
"I see... So, is anyone else home...?"  
  
"SEIFER."  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"SLEEPING." I could have sworn I seen a look of disapointment. Then his pager went off.  
  
"I gotta go. Bye." He left. That was quick... I shrugged and sat on the window seat. It had stopped raining, which was just too bad.  
  
Seifer came out.   
  
"Why'd you invite him here?" He asked.  
  
"I didn't. He came on his own."  
  
"...Sure. Why was he looking for me?" Didn't sleep... did you?  
  
"... I don't know."  
  
"... Fujin don't trust him." What?  
  
"Who do you want me to trust then?! I just want to be able to trust someone! Not you. I can't trust you." I walked into my room, knowing that he would not understand what I had last said.  
  



	4. -Fragile-

^The oddest thing was... I thought I saw her smile... and that made me happy.^  
  
-Fragile-  
  
~Seifer.  
  
So... you can't trust me... I can see why... I can... Fujin... But, I trust you... and you trust Squall... Everything is so screwed up it makes my head spin.  
  
Fujin left at ten pm. Raijn brought home his girlfriend. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend... Am I the only one who is alone...? At midnight, they retired to his bedroom. I don't even want to know what the hell they are doing in there... I'll wait up for Fujin. I sat in her seat. The window seat. I thought about her... and thought about her. I could never have her. I've never made her feel good... never let her feel love... so maybe she is right for Squall... At one pm, she came home.  
  
"GREETINGS. SEIFER." She said. Aren't you going to talk normal? Fujin...  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"TIRED. GO SLEEP. I WILL."  
  
"Fuu...!"  
  
"YES?" I stood up and moved closer to her. What am I doing?  
  
"...Uh... er, don't go in there."  
  
"WHY NOT? IS MY ROOM."  
  
"...Fuu, trust me... you don't want to go in there."  
  
"...What are you talking about...?" She turned the door knob.  
  
"Raijin and his girlfriend are having sex!" I said quickly. I didn't even know for sure, I just didn't want her to leave me... Coward, I am.  
  
"RAGE!"  
  
"Fuu, its okay. You can sleep in my bed."  
  
"I'll just sleep on the sofa, its okay."  
  
"...We have no sofa."  
  
"Dammit..." I put my hand on her shoulder... to touch her...  
  
"Just, use my room. I don't mind. Make yourself at home." ...Notice, I normally hate to share.  
  
"...That doesn't sound like you..."  
  
"I need someone to inhabit my bed."  
  
"You aren't going to sleep...?"  
  
"I don't think I can..." I admited sheepishly.  
  
"...But what if you do end up wanting to sleep...?"  
  
"Then, I'll put you back in your room. They should be done by then." Why is she making this so difficult?  
  
"No, because, if you wake me up, I'll never get back to sleep. I won't be awoken if I sleep on the floor. So, don't worry... okay?"  
  
"...I won't wake you up... I promise. ...And you'll wake up in your own bed tommarow morning." She looked at me... so oddly... as if with revere.  
  
"...Alright..."  
  
"Good night, Fuu."  
  
"Good night, Seifer..." She turned away and walked into my room. The oddest thing was... I thought I saw her smile... and that made me happy. I sat on the window seat some more, and then the door to Raijin and Fujin's room opened. Raijin's girlfriend stepped out.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hello, suga." ...Okay.  
  
"You leaving...?"  
  
"Yeah. He only paid me for 3 hours." ...Say what?! A... hooker?  
  
"Uh, oh, okay."  
  
"Hey, do ya want meh numba? I'll give ya a discount because it looks like there might me something there for me..." She walked over and ran her fingers up and down my chest. She leaned over me, sitting on my lap and she kissed the sides of my neck.  
  
"Hey, stop it... get off."  
  
"No... you want this..."  
  
"I said, get the fuck off!!! I'm friggin' taken! Get the hell out of my house!" I yelled. She scurried out of here, and I walked into my room. Fujin slept, in boxers, and a tank top. She is so god damned beautiful... I love her... Then I remembered how I promised to return her to her room. I picked her up. She was so light. Maybe only ninety pounds... She seemed so fragile... I layed her in her bed. And kissed her. It felt so good to kiss her, and no one, not even her, could bother me about it. I kissed her again, then left the room. Fujin...  
  
When I woke up, I was in my own bed, and very thankful it was Sunday. Then again, Fujin said she was going to work today... I glanced over at the time. Ten AM. Holy...shit, its late. I walked in to their bedroom. Fujin was sleeping still. Maybe she wouldn't work today after all. Raijin had left. I dunno where he went though. I walked into the kitchen and attempted to make coffee. I think I failed, because Fujin walked in and added more water.  
  
"Hey, Fujin."  
  
"Hello, Seifer..."  
  
"You gonna work today?"  
  
"No, I woke up too late... I tell you... I slept better than ever last night..." Heheh.  
  
"Thats good."  
  
"What about you? How'd you sleep?"  
  
"I slept okay, I guess."  
  
"Oh... um, Seifer... I'm gonna go see Squall today..." ...Damn.  
  
"Okay, when?"  
  
"...Um, at one pm..."  
  
"Alright..."  
  
"...Seifer...?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"QUESTION." ...Don't talk like that...  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"...I LIVING HERE. DOES BOTHER YOU?" ...What a stupid question!  
  
"...No! Of course not. I like you living here... Unless, of course... you didn't want to live here... I mean, I know... I can be hard to deal with and all..."  
  
"No... I like living here too... I was just thinking, I mean, since I took up your bed and stuff last night... that I was a bother." Thats not like you to say, Fuu...  
  
"...No. It was no trouble."  
  
~~~  
  
Later that day, about a half hour after Fujin left, I heard voices outside.  
  
"SQUALL. NO. STAY OUT HERE."  
  
"No... I'm sure it'd be okay if I came inside." I got up and opened the door, leaning on the doorframe, I glanced at the two of them.  
  
"Seifer, long time no see."  
  
"Damn, I wanted to keep it that way." I mutter in response.  
  
"Well, I need to talk to you."  
  
"Get the fuck away from here!" I say.  
  
"No, its important."  
  
"...Dammit, Leonheart, I'll kick your ass so-"  
  
"Fine, fine, alright?! But, you'll regret this!! Dammit... you will."  
  



	5. -Dazed-

^It was clear he'd never love me, but that was just like rubbing salt in my wounds.^  
  
-Dazed-  
  
~Fujin  
  
"Come on, Fujin." Seifer... I can't just leave Seifer here... all upset... no...   
  
"N-no, Squall, I think I should, um, stay here."  
  
"What?! Fine, you'll regret it too." He walked off, leaving Seifer leaning on the door frame, and me standing on the door step.  
  
I pushed by Seifer and walked inside.  
  
"Fujin."  
  
"...Yes?"  
  
"...Thank you." For what? I didn't do anything.  
  
"...What for?"  
  
"...Being here." I didn't understand... But I nodded anyway. We sat in the kitchen, not saying much to each other.  
  
"Fujin?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"...Squall and you... are you two..." His voice trailed off. I had an idea of what he was going to say... but I wasn't sure.  
  
"... in love?" He finally finished. Are we? ...No... Or... he told me... yesterday... that he loved me... and he kissed me passionately... but, I can't love anyone as much I love you... ever, Seifer. I tried, to move on, but I can't. I wanted to walk over and kiss Seifer... But I couldn't. He'd just laugh at me, or something.  
  
"I don't love Squall... no. However, I do have strong feelings for him..."  
  
"Oh..." I couldn't tell his emotion from this.  
  
"...Why?"  
  
"Just didn't want you trusting him... but..."  
  
"Oh." Seifer, can you tell me... that you love me? I realize... now, that I don't want just anyone to love me... I want you to love me... But... I know, thats impossible... I don't have strong feelings for Squall... I just need someone to understand me, and I think he did. I don't know how Squall feels now... The doorbell rang. Who could that be?  
  
"I'll get it." Seifer said, standing up. He went over to the door, and opened it. There stood two men, with the sofa between them. Seifer pulled out gil from his pocket and paid them. They left the sofa outside, and left. I watched Seifer try to pull it in.   
  
"Fuu, can ya help me?"  
  
"Sure." He climbed over to the other side, with his back facing me.   
  
"Pull, and I'll push." He pushed, and I pulled. Then I seen it. Lipstick. On his neck. I stopped pulling. I stared, in shock. He turned.  
  
"What the hell?" He asked.  
  
"...Wha...? What..? Who?" I could feel my heart hit the floor as I turned and ran toward my room. He must of ran after me, because he walked into my room shortly after me.  
  
"Fuu, what the hell is wrong?!"  
  
"...Y-you... bastard." I didn't know why I was upset. It was clear he'd never love me, but that was just like rubbing salt in my wounds.  
  
"Fujin?!" I stood up and walked out of my bedroom, and climbed over the sofa, and found my way to Balamb Garden, where I found Squall Leonheart.  
  
"Fujin?"  
  
"Squall... I'm sorry."  
  
"Let's go talk... in... Dollet."  
  
"Dollet...? Why so far away?"  
  
"I just want you and me to go away for a day or two." I was so dazed I agreed.  
  
When we arrived at Dollet, I expected him to rent us a hotel room or something. He didn't.  
  
"WHY HERE?" I asked, as he opened a small iron door in an alley.  
  
"Its a nice place."  
  
"OH. REALLY?"  
  
"...Sure, Fujin."   
  
He walked me to a small room in the apartment.  
  
"This is your room."  
  
"THANKS."   
  
"Sure... Just go in there, and make yourself at home... I'll see you in a minute." He walked out and shut the door behind him. I had suspected something from the start, but my thoughts were confirmed, when I realized that I was locked in.  
  
"Squall?! What are you doing?!"  
  
"Taking you hostage."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"But you said you..."  
  
"Loved you? Nah, I love Rinoa. We never broke up. I just used you to get to Seifer!" So... thats it... no one will ever love... or understand me...  
  
"No..."  
  



	6. -Involved-

^It didn't confirm or deny anything; but it did state something.^  
  
-Involved-  
  
~Seifer.  
  
I almost went after her. I really did. But then I realized I hadn't showered. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the back of my neck. Lipstick marks. From that fucking hooker Raijin paid for. Damn him! I decided to let Fujin cool off before I went out searching for her. She had probably just gone to see Squall. I sighed, and walked over to the sofa, and pulled it in on my own. It was hard, but in a half hour, I had it replaced and everything. Then I heard the doorbell. Who the hell is it now? I opened it, and no one was there. Then I seen it. A small white envalope. I walked inside opening it.  
  
"It seems I've got Fujin where I want her. After all of these long years, I have a warrant for your arrest, for betraying all of us. So, if you ever want to see Fujin again, bring yourself, no one else. I'll let Fujin go (In contrast to killing her), if you let me bring you to the prison.   
  
~Leonheart at Dollet Apartments (12c)."  
  
"...Fuck!" Grabbing my Hyperion, I took a ferry to Dollet, and found my way to the apartments. I knocked on 12 c.  
  
"He's here." I heard Squall say.  
  
"Squall, don't. Please?!"  
  
"Shut up..."   
  
"COME IN!" Squall yelled. I opened the door. The place was a mess. Squall held his Lionheart close to Fujin's neck. Dammit...  
  
"Take me. Let her go." I say calmly.  
  
"Set your gunblade aside." He ordered. I tossed it on the floor, my beloved Hyperion.  
  
"All you're enemies were killed in their sleep, Leonheart."  
  
"Fuck you. Come closer."  
  
"...Fine." I stepped closer. I look at Fujin. She looked so scared. Don't be scared, Fujin, I promise, I'll make everything alright.  
  
"Put on these handcuffs." I take them, and back away. Towards my Hyperion. I drop them "by accident." Fujin catches on.  
  
"Clumsy bastard." She mutters. Squall laughs.  
  
"Now." I say. Fujin kicks Squall below the belt, and slips away. I grab my gunblade.  
  
"Fujin, run."  
  
"No. I'll fight with you." Looks like she brings the Shuirken with her wherever she goes. Finally, after a long battle, Squall is K.Oed. No one'll revive him anytime soon. I look at Fujin, who looks at me...  
  
"Seifer..." She walks toward me and puts her arms around me. Why? I put my arms around her also, but I know why.  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"Seifer... I'm... I'm so sorry." No... don't be. Please, don't be.  
  
"No... It's not your fault. But... we should probably get our asses outta here." I suggest.  
  
"Mhm..." Fujin.... could you love me...? We arrive back at our house.  
  
"Fuu... what do you think we should do now?"  
  
"I don't know, Seifer... They are goning to put you in jail..."  
  
"That was so many years ago... dammit..."  
  
"I'm sure we can fight back."  
  
"Fujin, I don't want you getting involved."  
  
"Seifer, stop it! You could never understand...!" I thought she might go on, but she didn't. I wasn't sure what to do. The woman who I had always loved was sitting a foot away from me, telling me I could never understand... Her? I could never understand her, was it?  
  
"I could understand... if you'd let me..." I reached over and put my hand behind her head, grabbing her hair as I leaned in and kissed her deeply. To my surprise she worked her mouth over mine. I then ran my tougue along her lips. We continued this dance for abit.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I think... I think we need to stop." She sat up. Damn. What if... she doesn't love me...?  
  
"Is there something wrong?"  
  
"Y-yes."   
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I-" The door opened. Raijin walked in. I walked over to him.  
  
"Raijin Hefton! How dare you bring a prostitute into my house... Dammit...?!"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"I swear, I didn't think it would do any harm, ya know?!"  
  
"Yeah, well, it did do some damn harm!"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"...She kissed me. And sat on my lap... and touched me, dammit. No more of this for you... get a real girlfriend... Besides, I heard that girl at the peir likes you."  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Yeah... and Raijin."  
  
"What?"  
  
"If anyone comes to the door looking for me... Im not home. Understood?"  
  
"Okay... but, I'm goin' ta the peir, ya know?!" Raijin left. And I turned toward Fujin.  
  
"That's where the lipstick was from?"  
  
"Mhm."  
  
"Seifer! ..." She was happy about all this?  
  
"Erm, yeah... so..."  
  
"...Wha... Who... Why..." She started so many sentances, but was unable to finish any of them.   
  
"You now know my weakness." I said. It didn't confirm or deny anything; but it did state something.  
  



	7. -Tired-

^ I say it calmly, even though I'm breaking inside.^  
  
-Tired-  
  
~Fujin  
  
I don't understand... his... weakness...? Does he love me? Well... he kissed me... deeper than I've ever been kissed before... But it could just be out of pity... After all, Squall did betray me...  
  
A knock at the door.   
  
"I'll get it. Seifer, go hide in your bedroom."   
  
"Er, okay." I straightened out my hair, and walked over to the door.  
  
"Hello. Is Seifer Almasy in?" Two female Balamb officers.  
  
"NEGATIVE."  
  
"Oh... do you live with him?"  
  
"AFFIRMATIVE."  
  
"Well then, can we ask you some questions about him?"  
  
"YES. WAIT. WAS SLEEPING. MUST FIX SELF. MAKE SELVES AT HOME." I walked into my bedroom.  
  
"Seifer." I whispered.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Come listen at the door. They are going to ask me questions about you... How should I answer them?"  
  
"Are they male or female?"  
  
"Female..."  
  
"Make our relationship out to be very close and personal. They'll buy it. Okay?"  
  
"Got it." I quickly ran a brush through my hair, and walked out  
  
"APOLOGIES."  
  
"Its okay. Have a seat. This could take a while. Oh, and don't mind if our questions are too personal... But, they have to be to get the truth."  
  
"FINE."  
  
"Eye color." Thank god I study Seifer.  
  
"GREEN"  
  
"Hair?"  
  
"BLONDE."  
  
"D.O.B"  
  
"DECEMBER 22."  
  
"Blood type"  
  
"O."  
  
"Social Security Number?"   
  
"0123-2207"  
  
"Wow, how long have you known him?"  
  
"..SEVEN YEARS."  
  
"What are your relations to him...?" Damn. Personal...  
  
"FRIEND... AND LOVER."  
  
"Oh, good... So, have you been married or engaged?"  
  
"NO."  
  
"Have you had intercourse?"  
  
"NOT NESSCARY INFORMATION."  
  
"Its just procedure..."  
  
"YES."  
  
"Alright..." They then asked me questions about the sorceress conflict.  
  
"Well, then, he's not... liable to be arrested! We'll let SeeD handle it alone. ...hah." They left and Seifer came out.  
  
"...Nice job. Now, we won't have to worry about them."  
  
"...Yeah."  
  
"Fuu, I-" Raijin walked in with some girl clinging to his arm.  
  
"Oh, Raijin, you are so funnae!" ...Ditz. Thats all we need.  
  
"I wasn't even serious... about the girl from the peir... I just wanted him to leave us alone." Seifer whispered. Seifer and I walked into the kitchen, and sat down. I did and didn't really want to talk about what had happened in the living room before Raijin showed up. So, I remained silent, not sure what to make of all of it... He was staring at me again, I could feel it. I know I'm not pretty... but it doesn't mean he has to stare. Not able to take it anymore, I stood up and walked over to the coffee maker and put some coffee on. I stared at the dark liquid as it dripped into the pot.  
  
"Fujin." Oh... what is it? You said my name oddly... in a different tone. What kind of tone is this?  
  
"Yes?" I say it calmly, even though I'm breaking inside.  
  
"Why are you avoiding me...?" I'm not avoiding you... well...  
  
"...I'm not. I just want coffee."  
  
"...Sure..." F-fine... I'll sit. I sat across from him.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"...You know... what happened in there..." He motioned his gloved hand into the living room.  
  
"C-CONTINUE." I expected him to apologize and say something like "I didn't realize what I was doing..." but, he didn't say anything. The buzzer went off on the coffee maker. I stood up and walked over to it, but Seifer grabbed my arm. He stood up and grabbed my other wrist. I was scared. I look at him, trying not to look what I feel. Either way, he moved his hand up around my body. Seifer... He pressed his lips to mine, and I got that feeling again. That something wasn't right. Something didn't fit. I kissed him back, and after awhile I pulled away, and still in his arms, glared at the floor.  
  
"Fujin... I did all that because...-"  
  
"Hey, Fujin can you sleep on the sofa tonight, ya know?!" Keep getting interupted!  
  
"You can't just kick her out of her own room!" Seifer shot back.  
  
"FINE." I say, trying not to cause trouble.  
  
"You can use my bed, I'll sleep on the sofa." Seifer said, finally.  
  
"That's okay, really it is."  
  
"No..."  
  
"Please just continue what you have to say..." I say, wondering why I said it.  
  
"...N-nevermind."  
  
"Seifer."  
  
"Can I have some coffee... please?" Seifer...  
  
"Okay..." I pour him a mug of coffee, and me one too. Everything between us is silent for the rest of the day, and then Raijin and his girlfriend go into our room. It makes me mad; to have them doing that in my room... Its around ten pm, and Seifer is sitting on the sofa, staring into space, and I stare out the window, sitting on my window seat. I like to call it my window seat, because no one ever sits there. Anyhow, its raining again, and I watch it pour down in sheets onto the ground. Then I see the street light flicker, and the power goes out. Seifer doesn't say anything, but I can't see out the window anymore, so I stand up and glare around, my eye adjusting to the sudden darkness quickly, as it always does. Seifer is still staring into space, his hand grazing the carpet slightly. I step closer. He doesn't notice, he is too lost in thought. Closer. Closer. I'm two feet away from the sofa. I'm just a figure, in the darkness.  
  
"...Fuu?" He finally says.  
  
"...Yes?"  
  
"Come here." I sit beside him, terrified of what will happen next.  
  
"...Mhm...?"  
  
"Just sit with me... okay?"  
  
"Ah, alright." Its silent. We are so close... My eyelids feel heavy. They close, but I struggle to stay awake... however, I fail.  
  
When I wake up, the house is still dark. I'm trying desperately to find out where I am and how I got there. I'm in... Seifer's bed? I sit up and glance at the small clock. 3 AM. I step out of bed, trying to figure out how I got there, and walk into the living room. There he is. Sleeping... on the sofa. I walk over to him, my bare feet making no noise to give away my presence. Is he even sleeping...?  
  
"Hey, Fuu." I guess not.  
  
"Um, how long was I asleep...?"  
  
"I dunno... maybe four hours."  
  
"Oh..." I sit beside him. "You should get some sleep."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"...I've got too many things on my mind."  
  



	8. -Hurt-

^ ...If you die... I'll want to die too^  
  
-Hurt-  
  
~Seifer  
  
Its not really a lie... I've got two things on my mind, the main one being Fujin, and the other being SeeD. I had carried her into my bedroom after she had fallen asleep on top of me. I didn't want her to feel stupid, waking up on top of me, so I put her in my bed... And, I like carrying her... She feels so delicate. Plus, I feel like I'm in control of where she goes... even though she's sleeping.  
  
"Like what?" She asks me.  
  
"I don't know... nothing in particular." Yeah, right.  
  
"Yeah, sure..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Seifer, how come you don't tell me... whats bothering you?" I shrug.  
  
"...Because it doesn't seem signifigant... Doesn't seem like it'll matter." I answer honestly. How will she reply to this?  
  
"But... it does matter... to me, anyway..." It does?  
  
"Ah, I'm sorry... I think we, er, you should sleep now."  
  
"I can't sleep once I've woken up... you know that."  
  
"Okay then, we can just rest until morning... okay...?" I put my arm around her as she rested her head on me.  
  
"Mmkay..."  
  
I guess we both fell asleep, because when I woke up, (it was around six am), she was sleeping on me. We both had to go to work, though, so I woke her up reluctantly.  
  
"Hey, Fujin. Ya gotta get up now."  
  
"Mm..." I shook her, but she only cuddled up closer to me. Fuu...  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"...Seifer... lets just sleep." Cut work... the both of us...? Sounds good.  
  
Just as I started to drift off again, I heard Raijin and his girlfriend, who's name was Toni, emerge. I pretended to be asleep.  
  
"Ooh, my gawd. That is soo coote. Dontcha think?!" She said in her high pitched voice.  
  
"I didn't know they were... romantic... and all..."  
  
"Ooh no. I'm sure that's not it... They jest fell asweep while watchin' the television."  
  
"Oh, yeah, ya know?! Here, I'll walk ya home."  
  
"Awright."  
  
They left and I fell asleep. When I woke up again, Fujin was still sleeping. Still?! Damn, what time is it? I glanced over at the clock. Noon time. Heh. Keep sleeping, Fuu. I stayed awake, but didn't get up, because I didn't want her to wake up. I didn't want her closeness to end. A half hour later, she stirred.  
  
"Oh...?"  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"I'm sorry." She muttered, sitting up.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"I dunno, falling asleep on you..."  
  
"Hey, I fell asleep too..."  
  
"Did Raijin and his girlfriend leave?"  
  
"Yeah, a while ago..."  
  
"What about work... dammit, I'm supposed to be in work.."  
  
"So what? You're here, oh well."  
  
"Mhm..." She stood up, and looked down at me.  
  
"I'm, uh, gonna go take a shower...."  
  
"... Alright." She dissapeared down the hall, and I went into my bedroom. I pulled up the covers on the bed lazilly, since I never bother to make it, and look around.. Fujin's boots are still on the floor from when I pulled them off of her last night. Then I start to wonder. When those officers came yesterday, she knew even my social security number... Dammit, I hardly know that...  
  
"Seifer...!" Oh shit. I jog into the hall.  
  
"What is it?!"   
  
"Help..." I turn the door knob. Locked. Using my shoulder, I bust in. There is a thick steam covering the bathroom, and the shower is running. Fujin is naked, and has backed into a corner. Near the other side of the bathroom, is Squall. The fucking bastard!!!  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?!" I yell.  
  
"I'm taking Fujin."  
  
"WHAT?! Why the fuck?!"  
  
"...I'll kill her, and draw you in, its so simple its pathetic. You belong in prison!"  
  
"Leonheart, what the fuck are you trying to do?! You can't do this. I won't fucking let you!"  
  
"You'll be forced to when there are 100 frickin' SeeDs at your door. Sure, maybe you can fight them all, but I'll still have time to sneak in from behind and kill her... Then you will have no choice than to come with me... ha ha ha ha."  
  
"Get out!"  
  
"Not without her."  
  
"Fine then, it seems you won't be leaving." He draws out his gunblade, and I don't have mine. I reach behind me, out the door, and grab it.  
  
"Bring it." Squall says. Block. Attack. Left swing. Hit. Block, right. Right swing. Upper swing. Hit 2x.  
  
"D-damn..." Squall says, bleeding.  
  
"Now, I'll finish you off. "   
  
"No!" He jumped over, and hit Fujin with his gunblade, and I seen blood run down her arm. Squall escaped through the front door.  
  
"Fujin!" I kneel beside her.  
  
"I'm... I'm fine..." I reach behind me and grab a towel, and press it to her arm. She doesn't have her eye patch on, and there is a noticible scar through her left eye, but, I'm more concerned with the blood that is turning the clean, white towel red.  
  
"Get up." I say to her. She stands, and I realize her upper leg has a gash through it too, but not as bad as the one on her arm. It must have happened before I got there.   
  
"...Seifer..."  
  
"Get dressed. You need to go to the hospital." I leave. I sounded uncaring, I hadn't meant to... I waited for Fujin outside the bathroom. She walks out, semi-limping.  
  
"Seifer... have you seen... my boots...?"  
  
"I don't think you should wear boots."  
  
"Fine." She walked into her bedroom and walked back out wearing flat, black sandals. She still had the towel pressed to her arm.   
"Come on... lets go."  
  
~~~  
  
The doctor at the Balamb hospital gave her ten stitches up her arm, and her leg just needed to be wrapped. She came out and we walked home slowly, not a word said, until finally, I decided to say something.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"...FINE."  
  
"Fujin, I think you should move away..."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Its dangerous here. Until I get things straightened out..."  
  
"NEGATIVE."  
  
"Fujin, its not worth it. Its a shitty house, you've got a shitty job... you live with shitty people..."  
  
"Maybe I LIKE our shitty house. I LIKE my shitty job... and I... and I... LOVE living with you... I'm not leaving. NO. Its not like you care, either."  
  
"Fuu... don't do this." I opened the door to our house and walked in.  
  
"FINE! WANT ME MOVE?! WILL."  
  
"Fujin, I don't WANT you to leave... I just think you need to... and it's my fault you got hurt, my fault... if you die... And Squall is right! ...If you die... I'll want to die too."  
  



	9. -Dizzy-

^My end... will it come this way? No... I wanted for you... to help me.^  
  
-Dizzy-  
  
~Fujin  
  
What? ...What does it mean? I don't understand... What are you trying to say to me...?  
  
"...Seifer... I'll leave... if you don't want me here... with you, anymore."  
  
"...No, that's not it! Its just that... I don't want to see you hurt... again."  
  
"...Why?" Stupid question... but I want to know what he feels for me...  
  
"Because...because, Fujin, I-"  
  
"Whoooaaa! Seifa!"   
  
"Dammit! What the hell do ya want now?"  
  
"There are... some ah, people here."  
  
"Where?!"  
  
"Right here in the kitchen!"  
  
"...The fuck?" He says, grabbing his gunblade and walking in slowly, I follow. Sure enough, five SeeDs.  
  
"EXTERMINATE!" I yell. We fight them off and they retreat.  
  
"Its not safe here." Seifer announces.  
  
"No shit, ya know?!"  
  
"Ha hah. Seifer, you belong in prison." Squall. Where the hell is he!?  
  
"Fucking Leonheart, come out, I'll kill ya."  
  
"Not without killing Fujin."  
  
"What...?" I say, grabbing Seifer's shoulder.  
  
"Seifer, you got me good today... but, mind you... I've taken my toll on Fujin also..."  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Seifer yells.  
  
"Where is he, ya know?!" Raijin asks.  
  
"I don't care... I'll fucking kill him where ever he is!"  
  
"...Hah. Maybe you will, but if I die, Fujin fucking dies."  
  
"Seifer..." I step closer to Seifer, clutching my shuriken tighter.  
  
"It'll be okay, Fuu..." He promises in a hushed voice. I'm grabbed from behind, and I feel the coolness of metal on my neck.  
  
"Seifer...!" I cry. He turns.  
  
"You so much as move, any of you, I'll cut her head off."  
  
"Leonheart!"  
  
"Don't even say it." I feel dizzy... everything is spinning. Seifer... I want to tell you... before I go...  
  
"Look, fine, take me, but let Fujin go." Seifer says.  
  
"Get `im." Two SeeDs come in, and take Raijin away, then an additional five approach Seifer... No.. Seifer!  
  
"Take him away... or no. Hold him back. I want to have him watch."   
  
"Don't you dare! Don't you fucking..." Seifer tries to run foward but is held back... My end... will it come this way? No... I wanted for you... to help me.  
  
"Seifer..." I mutter.  
  
"Do it, Squall!" A SeeD yells.  
  
"Yeah, might as well, all three are gonna go to hell anyway." I feel him ready to move the blade along my neck. So, I thrust my body upwards with my all... and am cut, along the bottom of my neck, I feel my body fall towards the floor.  
  
"You bastard!" Seifer yells. I can see blood spreading across the front of my shirt. Then someone else's blood falls to the floor next to me. Is it Seifer's...? How can Seifer hold up six men... one of them being Squall?  
  
"Agh... dammit!" Its Seifer.   
  
"You're gonna lose! Any last words?" The clash of metal. A gunblade swinging through the air. It hits something, and someone falls to the ground Then everything goes silent, and I see Seifer, who crouches next to me.  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"Seif..er." I manage. He has a bad gash through his stomach.  
  
"Raijin's called an ambulance... you'll be okay...?"  
  
"I... need to tell you... something." I take a breath. Its hard to talk, and breath.  
  
"Fuu, no, save it... Please... don't talk...!"  
  
"I have...to... tell...you. I won't... make it... I need you... to know..."  
  
"Alright..."  
  
"I love you... Seifer, I always have." Darkness. I can't see his reaction. I can't see anything. I feel like I'm falling. I'm not steady. I need something to hold on to... but there is nothing there, just darkness. I can't stop falling. Someone help me... Seifer... am I dead? Did you hear what I last said? Are you mad at me...? Are you saddened about my "death?" Or are you happy I'm gone...? Seifer, I just want you to hold me again. Pain is sent through my body. I've never felt so much pain through my whole body. I try desperately to see... I just want to see Seifer once more. Just one more time... I want to see you laugh... I just want to see your eyes... Your emerald eyes... But I'll never see you again... will I? ... I don't know... I can still think... and feel emotions... so I can't be dead... But, I'm totally unconscience of what's going on around me... All the pain stopped... No! I have to live. I have to live for you, Seifer! I can't die! Not here, not now! What if you do love me...? Seifer... I'll live. I'll stop falling. I need to stop falling, just for you. I'm yours... no one elses... ever. Then I hit the ground.  
  
"Seifer..." I hear myself whisper. Maybe... my last words... will help.  
  



	10. -Guilty-

^Was she really gone? If she was... I wanted to die with her.^  
  
-Guilty-  
  
~Seifer.  
  
Her eye closes slowly. You love me... I love you too... You can't be gone... no...  
  
"*Fujin...!!*" The paramedics arrive and take her away. They took me with them. I guess it was because of the gash on my stomach, but that didn't matter now. It was just a scratch... Nothing more. Nothing less. But was Fujin dead?! They finished treating me on the ambulance, and took us both to the Deling hospital. I was fine. They made me wait for word on Fujin. Was she dead? Was she really gone? If she was... I wanted to die with her.  
  
"Hey, can I go in yet?!" I ask the receptionist.  
  
"No, sir."  
  
"..." I walk in, even though they say I can't, but thats what they've been saying for the last two hours. No one comes after me, I find that odd. I finally arrive at room 8C. It is completely dark. I can see her. Her small body under all of those white sheets. My whole upper body is wrapped, with seventeen stitches, but that is nothing compared to the IV that is in her arm, and her heart, which is beating slower than normal. Beep... beep... beep... so slowly. I sit beside her bed.  
  
"Fujin... Oh god, Fujin... I love you. This is all my fault... I'll have to take my own life should you die... I need you... to survive. Please... don't die." The beeping slows. Beep.... beep.... beep.... Two doctors rush in with a bag of blood, which is injected into her arm. Her heart rate returns to what it was before. They don't notice me. I just lurk in the shadows of the room. I'd give all of my blood for you to survive, Fuu... They said the only reason she was still alive was because she must have moved so the blade got her below where it would have killed her. But, they also said she was still bleeding, and might not make it... I killed Squall Leonheart. I'm glad too. The doctors left, and I walked over to Fujin.  
  
"Fujin... please... I need you..." I can hear them talking in the hall... the doctors.  
  
"We should just stop. I mean, there is no way she makes it." Fujin... My Fujin...  
  
"Nah, there might be some hope..."  
  
"Well, uh, does she have any family?"  
  
"No... but there's that guy who came in with her... He had that gash..."  
  
"Oh yeah, I wonder what his relation to her is..."  
  
"Hm. Well, look, there's someone in 8A..." They continued to talk, but I ceased to listen. I knelt by Fujin's bed, wanting her to open her eye. They had taken her eye patch off... She was still as beautiful...  
  
"Fujin," I whipered, "I need you to know... how much I love you... I'd do anything for you... anything in the world... just to make things right... for you... I loved you, for as long as I've known you... I know... I know, that I didn't act that way... And I know I hurt you... But it was an accident, a mistake. I know that I'm not good enough for you... but I could try... I'll give you all of the love I have... Just wake up... please... open your eyes..."  
  
One half hour later, I noticed her heart rate return to normal. Beep. beep. beep. Her eyes opened.  
  
"Fuu..." I said, looking at her.  
  
"S-Seifer..."  
  
"Oh, god, Fujin... I love you so much." I grabbed her arm and she looked at me.  
  
"Seifer... I thought I was...dead."  
  
"Me too..."  
  
"Seifer, I heard you... talking to me."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"I love you... too."  
  
"She's awake?! By the faeries! A miracle... We thought she wouldn't make it...!" A doctor came in, followed by the other one who asked:  
  
"How did you get in?"  
  
"I just walked in..."  
  
"You aren't supposed to be here..."  
  
"Can you just help her!?" I asked.  
  
"-Right." I stood back, and they took off bandages, and gave her stitches then exited.  
  
"Fujin... I'm so sorry... dammit..."  
  
"...No, you've... got nothing to be sorry about."  
  
"This is all my fucking fault... God, Fuu, I should have just let them take me the first time... I'm a selfish fool..."  
  
"...No! Don't say that..." The doctors came back in.  
  
They said they wouldn't let her out for three days, but she would live. The doctors left, and I stared at Fujin, blaming my self for everything that had happened. I remember seeing her perfect body that day in the bathroom... Now, it would be flawed with a scar up her arm, leg, and lower neck... All because of me. It wasn't fair for her... What I had done to her... She had almost died, dammit! All because of me... She had said it wasn't my fault, but I knew we both thought otherwise.  
  
I left the hospital, and the three days passed. Raijin was gone off with Toni most of the time... so, I was alone. On the third day, I walked to the hospital, and got Fujin out. She had to go easy, and not strain or anything.  
  
When we got home, she sat on the window seat, as she usually would, and stared out the window. I went into the kitchen and put some coffee on. Coffee was what I lived on... it kept me awake... yet, I still have not learned to make it correctly. Smoke began to rise from the maker.  
  
"...Shit." I muttered.  
  
"Seifer. Add more water." Fujin called in from the next room. I did so, and the coffee turned out alright... I guess.  
  
"Ya want some?" I asked her.  
  
"...Sure." I poured her a mug, and handed it to her.   
  
"Th-thanks." She said, drinking some. She made a face, and set the coffee down. Dammit, I can't even make coffee!  
  
"Sorry..." I say sheepishly.  
  
"N-no, its okay."  
  
~~~  
  
The next day, I wake up, and realize, to my dismay, that I have to work all weekend and today... Friggin' job. Friggin' Squall... It's all his fault... dammit. And Fujin can't work either... which is why I have to work all weekend. I walk into the bathroom and undress. Then I just look around me. Damn... Fujin was right there... bleeding... It was all my fault...  
  
After my shower, I walked into the kitchen. It was empty... I missed Fujin just waiting there, drinking her coffee... I glanced at the coffee maker, and shook my head, deciding not to make coffee... this morning.  
  
~~~  
  
I got home from work at around 2:30 am, and didn't really expect anyone to be awake, but Fujin was staring out the window again. I want to know what she thinks about... all those hours she must glare out that window... I toss my trenchcoat on the sofa and sigh.  
  
"Hey, Fuu..." I mutter.  
  
"Hi..." We haven't spoken of anything really interesting, such as our relationship, as of as late, and things are rather boring.  
  
"What are you doing still up?"  
  
"I, um, couldn't sleep..."  
  
"Why?" ...  
  
"I dunno... I guess I have too much on my mind."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"...Seifer, you need sleep."  
  
"Fujin."  
  
"Hm...?"  
  
"...Tell me... please?"  
  
"I...was, em, it's nothing important."  
  
"...Fuu."  
  
"Seifer, I'm tired."  
  
"Then why are you awake?" And difficult.  
  
"I'm going to bed." She stood up and walked foward. I stepped in her way.  
  
"Seifer."  
  
"Fujin, tell me."  
  
"Stop it." She said, trying to push by me again. I grabbed her good arm.  
  
"I'm not letting you go until you tell me."  
  
"...Then I guess you won't be letting me go."  
  
"Fuu."  
  
"...Seifer, just let me go... okay?"  
  
"No, something's bothering you. Maybe I'll have to force it out of you, but I'll get it outta you. You know it."  
  
"Seifer..." I kissed her, without thinking.  
  
"Tell me."  
  



	11. -Honest-

^He walks in, eyeing me like a child who has done something wrong.^  
  
-Honest-  
  
~Fujin  
  
Sometimes, people say things just to make other people feel better. Sometimes, people say things that they don't *really* mean, they just say... or do them anyway. That's how I think Seifer feels about me. I really do.  
  
"Seifer... really its nothing." I say, finally regaining composure after he kissed me.  
  
"Tell me... please..."  
  
"...I was just... just..." I try desperately to find a way to say my words without hurting him.  
  
"Come on, Fuu, tell me." I back away, but he follows, I'm cornered into a wall. Seifer, I don't want to hurt you by saying this...  
  
"...It was nothing."  
  
"Fujin."  
  
"Seifer, stop it." He kisses me deeply and I try to step back, but I can't. He is careful, I can tell, for my neck still has stitches in it. I kiss him back, but then I finally place my hand on his chest and give him a slight push. He steps away.  
  
"Just tell me what's bothering you... I can fix it." No you can't... Seifer, please...  
  
"N-no." I slide out from between him and the wall and walk into my room, but unfortunetly, Raijin and Toni are in there. I step out, and I can feel Seifer's eyes on me. Without thinking, I walk into his room. Maybe he'll just leave me alone now. I glance around his room. I've never really been in here before... I've slept in here once or twice now, but never really explored it. It's just got a bed, a dresser, and a closet. His Hyperion and two trenchcoats are in the closet. Its cold in this room, and I sit on his bed, which is very lazilly made. I rub my bare arms, and scold myself for wearing a sleeveless shirt. Then I see the door knob turn. Oh god, no... no...no.. It opens. He walks in, eyeing me like a child who has done something wrong.  
  
"I-I'll leave." I say, standing up and walking towards the door, but he grabs me. Why aren't you saying anything? Talk to me. I can feel the soft leather of his gloves press against my skin.  
  
"Seifer, let me go." He just tightens his grip on my arm. Seifer!  
  
"Seifer, you are hurting me." I say. He lets go of my arm, but holds me close to his body. Oh god... oh...  
  
"Tell... me... what's bothering you." He finally says. No. I can't. No, no, no! I remain silent. Everything is so quiet.  
  
"...Fujin, don't waste my time." ...I'm sorry.  
  
"I'm sorry... Just let me go, and I'll leave you alone..." Don't let go, oh please, don't let go.  
  
"If that's the way you want it." He lets go of me. Now, I have to play my part... I step towards the door, and place my hand on the cold knob. Slowly, I turn my wrist and pull. Its locked. There's a keyhole on this side... Dammit, Seifer, what the hell are you trying to do?! I don't turn around, I stare blankly at the door. I don't feel threatened, though anyone else would be. I trust Seifer... whether I want to or not... I do. I slowly turn, and realize he is so close behind me. Oh... I exhale slowly. Seifer... What are you doing?  
  
"Mm, Fuu... You want to leave that badly...?" Not sure how to answer, I remain silent. He takes the small key out of his pocket and holds it out to me.   
  
"Take it, go on." This must symbolize something... If I take the key, it'll be just like leaveing our love in the dust, but should I stay... I'll show I want commitment... But... I don't think he really loves me. So, I reach out to his hand, and grasp the key, and slowly take it away. I cannot see his expression in the darkness. I move my hand back toward my body, and prepare to turn and open the door. But something inside possesses me to toss the key to the floor. It lands on the carpet with a thud. I can barely make out Seifer's facial expression, but I think its a quizical glance. I stare up at him, almost scared of what he will do next but, there is no reason... I don't think. He puts his bare hands on my shoulders. He's taken off his gloves... His hands are so terribly cold... Just like this room.   
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Fujin, I just want you to tell me how you feel... Nothing more, nothing less... That's all I ask." My head starts to pound suddenly, and I bring my hand to my head, glaring at the floor.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I'm... fine." I feel dizzy, and lean foward onto Seifer, who wraps his arms around me. No, I didn't ask for this.  
  
"You sure...? Maybe you should sit down."  
  
"N-no, I'm okay." The pain in my head is almost unbearable.  
  
"...Hm." He kisses my forehead and walks me toward the bed, where I sit down, still pressing my hand to my head.  
  
"...Fuu, I need you to tell me what's wrong."  
  
"W-why?"  
  
"Because I don't want you to be sad... And I'm beginning to think it's got something to do with me..."  
  
"...Mhm..."  
  
"...Well?" He sits beside me.  
  
"I was..." Dammit, Fujin, just tell him. "I was just worried that... I mean, I thought that... Well, rather, I *think* that..." I've never sounded so nervous and insecure before in my life.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"That you..." This could take forever the way I'm headed.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"That you..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That you... don't *truely* love me. I mean, I know it sounds selfish, but its just so hard to believe..." I finally blurt out. Oh god, I'm sorry.  
  



	12. -Better-

^I didn't know what I was saying or where it was coming from, but the words and feelings just tumbled out of my mouth.^  
  
-Better-  
  
~Seifer  
  
No... No, Fujin, don't think that! I love you more than anything else in this world. Oh... don't think that! Dammit, no. Why? I know I'm an awful lover... Or even if I were classified as one... but... I do love you. Really... Fully... Truely... All the way. Why do you think otherwise? Is it because I'm an egoistic bastard who doesn't show what he really feels, but just the oppisite? I'm sorry, Fujin. How can I convince you otherwise?  
  
"I'm sorry, Seifer." She says.  
  
"N-no... its not... your fault... it's mine..."  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Dammit, Fuu, I'm so sorry... I do love you... so much... I don't know how I can get you to believe it, but I do..."  
  
"...I don't know, Seifer... I just feel that way... I just... I just always loved you... and I knew you would never love me, but... then you said you did, and it was so hard to believe...!"  
  
"...Fuu. I need you to know... and believe this." I didn't know what I was saying or where the hell it was coming from, but the words and feelings just tumbled out of my mouth.   
  
"I love you... I do. I'd give my life for you. I need you... I need you to love me... I need you to know that you are first priority in my life... and you have been for quite sometime..."  
  
"Seifer..." She placed her arms around me, and I held her, not wanting to let go, ever. But then, I felt something cold against my chest... something wet. I gently pushed Fujin away from me and stood in the moon light. A cold wet liquid spread across my chest. It was blood, but not my blood.  
  
"Seifer?"  
  
"Fujin, you've got to go to the hospital... you are bleeding."  
  
"What?" She looks down at her shirt, and sees that she is bleeding right through her stitches. Fucking Leonheart.  
  
~~~  
  
The doctors at the hospital fixed Fujin up, and said that if she wanted to go home, she had to remain in bed all day, not wanting to risk loss of more blood. It was just turning daylight when we got home. I told Fujin to sleep in my bedroom, I don't know why, but she did what I told her to.  
  
"Fuu, I gotta go to work."  
  
"Seifer. You didn't sleep. Just call in and cancel."  
  
"I can't. I gotta work the weekend or we aren't gonna be able to pay anything this month."  
  
"Just have Raijin work late."  
  
"Nah, can't ask him to do that. And still, it won't be enough."  
  
"...Seifer."  
  
"...Bye, Fujin."  
  
"Ugh... bye." I exited my bedroom, and Raijin and I left.  
  
~~~  
  
Work was exceptionally horrible that day. I was tired, and felt awful. Not to mention the stitches in my stomach, which hurt like hell. I had to get them out today, which meant I had to come home later. I'd just have that done at the Dollet Hospital.  
  
When I finally got home, it was 3:00am. I was so fucking tired. I just wanted to plop on the sofa and sleep, but, I didn't. I walked into my room to check on Fujin. She was sleeping and I walked over to her. I unbuttoned the top button of her shirt to make sure she wasn't bleeding, and she wasn't. I sighed a sigh of relief and tossed my trenchcoat in the closet, along with my Hyperion. I sighed and looked in the mirror, forking my fingers through my hair. It was then I realized how cold my room was. I tossed my gloves on my dresser and walked over to Fujin, who shuddered as a cold breeze entered through the open window. I laid a blanket over her, and shut the window. I walked into the living room, and feel asleep on the sofa.  
  
The next morning I woke up feeling like shit, and I had an awful headache. I called in sick at work and plopped back on the sofa. Raijin walked over to me.  
  
"How's Fujin?"  
  
"She's fine. Don't bother her."  
  
"Ah, alright. Shouldn't you get ready for work?" I sigh, annoyed.  
  
"...I'm not going. You are gonna have to work late."  
  
"What? I can't! I've got a date with Toni."  
  
"Raijin! We need the fucking money, so work late. I'm fucking sick, and I can't work! I already worked my ass off yesterday... And I didn't even sleep, alright?! Damn, and no more sex with Toni in this house. Go to her house." ...  
  
"I'm not workin' late, ya know?!" He left.  
  
"...Fucking bastard." I muttered, walking into the bathroom to get dressed for work. After I got dressed, I called in saying I was working. Damn, life is so hard... Fujin must have emerged from my room while I was fumbling through the medicine cabinet for aspirin.  
  
"Ugh, fucking aspirin. Fucking Leonheart. Fucking Raijin... Fuck! Have we no fucking aspirin?!" I muttered, not realizing she was standing in the doorway.  
  
"I can go in today... I feel better. My neck doesn't hurt as much anymore." I turned, surprised she was there.  
  
"N0... thats okay... I'll be fine."  
  
"Seifer, really." She walked over to me and put her hand on my arm, reaching into the back of the cabinet producing a bottle of aspirin.   
  
"I can go in." She finished.  
  
"No way. I'm not gonna risk anything... I'll try to come home early."  
  
"...Hm, alright. But, if you feel worse, come home." ...She sounds so... caring. Like a wife, almost. Pushing the thought out of my head, I downed three aspirins and nodded.  
  
"You want some coffee?" She offered.  
  
"Yeah, that would be nice."  
  
"Okay."  
  
~~~  
  
While patroling the central square, I got dizzy and was K.Oed fighting a monster off. Once revived, my partner, Joe, suggested that I go home.  
  
"No way, man."  
  
"You look kinda pale though."  
  
"...I don't care."  
  
"It can't be good for you."  
  
"Neither can losing my house."  
  
"But, Almasy, you never get K.Oed."  
  
"Oh well."  
  
"Really, just go home! I'll cover for ya, and say ya worked the whole time."  
  
"Joe, I'll be fine."  
  
"No, really, mate, get yer arse home."  
  
~~~  
  
I got home at around 11pm, and Fujin was laying on the sofa, flicking through channels on the television.  
  
"You're home early."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Raijin's out with Toni."  
  
"So that bastard didn't work late... hmph."  
  
"Guess not... Um, Seifer, how are you feeling?" ...Like shit.  
  
"Better."  
  
"Thats good. My neck looks like it's healing well."  
  
"Yeah? Lemme see." I tossed my trenchcoat and gloves on the coffee table and sat next to Fujin, who showed me the stitches.  
  
"Yeah, they look a whole lot better."  
  
"Mm. Did you ever get yours out?"  
  
"Yeah, yesterday. I have a huge-ass scar too..." My voice trailed off when she frowned.  
  
"...Sorry." I muttered, thinking that I had gotten her worried about getting scars.  
  
"N-no, you didn't do anything. ...Um, I should probably get the ones on my arm removed soon, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  



	13. -Concerned-

^I was really worried about him. I think there is too much going on for him to handle.^  
  
-Concerned-  
  
~Fujin  
  
"Seifer, you don't look so good, are you sure you're alright?" I asked, looking at his face, which looked pale and tired.  
  
"Yeah, just tired..."  
  
"You should go rest."  
  
"Yeah, but-" The door opened and, in walked Raijin and Toni.  
  
"Hey, Toni, meet me in my room, ya know?!"  
  
"Awright." She walked into our bedroom. Again...?  
  
"Fujin, my best friend in the whole world!" Raijin started. Oh... what does he want now...?  
  
"YES?"  
  
"Can you sleep on the sofa? Just one more night! Toni has people at her house and..." I would have said fine, had Seifer not interupted.  
  
"Hey, who the hell do you think you are?! You can't just kick her out of her own fucking room so you and your slutty girlfriend can go-" I put my hand on Seifer's leg.  
  
"STOP. ARGUE. USELESS. IS FINE. RAIJIN."  
  
"Thanks, man!" Raijin exited. I looked at Seifer, who looked back at me. I shrugged, and shut off the TV, sighing.  
  
"...You shouldn't have done that." He says finally.  
  
"At least they're quiet."  
  
"Heh..."  
  
"Seifer, you should go rest... You really don't look too great."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"N-no.. Just, you look sick. You need sleep." There I go, screwing up words again.  
  
"Y-yeah..." Seifer stood up and staggered into his room. I was really worried about him. I think there is too much going on for him to handle.  
  
An hour later, I found myself rather tired. I went up to the door to my room, and still heard noises. How long do they...? Ugh. I layed back down on the sofa, but it hurt my neck. Finally, I decided to go sleep with Seifer. He wouldn't mind. I yawned, half-asleep, and walked into Seifer's room. He was sleeping, and I thanked god he didn't snore. I couldn't help but wonder why it was always so cold in that room... I shut a window and climbed into bed, and fell asleep, comfortably.  
  
I woke up late the next morning, around ten. Seifer was still asleep next to me, and I sat up, trying my best not to wake him up. I walked over to the phone, and called him in sick to work. Then I called Raijin, and "ordered" him to work until at least one am. He obliged, thankful for the room I had given him last night. I made coffee, and sit down at the table drinking it, as I always do. Ten minutes later, a noticibly pale Seifer walks into the kitchen.  
  
"You sleep?" He asks, concern and guilt written across his face.  
  
"...Mhm."  
  
"Where? You didn't hurt your neck or anything, did you?"  
  
"...With you. My neck is fine, don't worry."  
  
"Oh..." He poured himself some coffee and sat across from me.  
  
"You feel okay?" I ask.  
  
"Not really... I'm late for work... too."  
  
"You're not going in. I already told them you weren't going." If Seifer was feeling okay, he'd say "You WHAT?!" But, he didn't.  
  
"Oh... thanks... but... we need the money."  
  
"...Raijin will work until one."  
  
"...Okay." He gets up and walks into the bathroom and walks back in with aspirin. He downs them with his coffee.  
  
"You should see a doctor."  
  
"...I'll be fine."  
  
"I have to get the stitches on my arm removed anyway."  
  
"Maybe..." I place my empty mug in the sink, and go take a shower. While rinsing out my hair, I hear the door open. Then gagging. The sink is turned on.  
  
"...Seifer?"  
  
"Ugh..."  
  
"Are you alright?" I shut of the shower, wrap myself in a towel, and step out. There he is, almost as pale as me, brushing his teeth, with a less than pleasent look on his face...  
  
"You are seeing a doctor."  
  
~~~  
  
We got to the hospital, and Seifer went to a doctor, while I got my stitches out. They said the cut on my neck was healing okay, and was not infected, though it would start hurting soon, but not to worry, aspirin should ease some of the pain. And that I was moving around too much, and needed to settle down. Damn doctors; they don't know jack. I didn't blame Seifer for what happened, though I know he blamed himself. It was too bad, really... I walked up to Seifer who was waiting for me in the waiting room.  
  
"How did it go?" I ask him.  
  
"They said I had some kinda stress thing. I have to rest and shit like that. I've got a fever, not too bad though. Heheh, they arranged sick days for me in work. I'll get regular pay, but no overtime, dammit."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"What'd they say about you?" Seifer asked as we walked home.  
  
"Um, they said... I was fine and all, but I was moving around too much, and the thing would never heal if I didn't settle down... Imbiciles."  
  
"Hm. Told you to stay on the sofa or in bed."  
  
"...I can't just sit there all day! You know that..."  
  
"Yeah, you've got a point... Whoa..." He stopped walking, and knelt on the ground for a minute.  
  
"Are you alright?!" I ask, crouching beside him.  
  
"Y-yeah, I'm fine, just got a little dizzy, that's all..." I help him up, even though it causes my neck to hurt. We get home, and both sit on the sofa.  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"Mhm?"  
  
"I'm... sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"What happened... with Squall."  
  
"Seifer, its not your fault. Its more mine than yours... for thinking he understood me..."  
  
"...No it isn't. It could have been avoided... If only... I understood you..."  
  
"Oh, stop it. Everything's okay now."  
  
"Mm..."  
  
"And you. This stress sickness you have. You need to calm down, okay?  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'll try, I'll try..."  
  
After that, everything is silent. There's nothing to do... That is... until Raijin bursts through the door, looking quite upset.  
  



	14. -Important-

^Does that mean she's comfortable with me... or was she just not thinking clearly?^  
  
-Important-  
  
~Seifer  
  
"What the hell is wrong?! Why aren't you at work...?!" I say, standing up. I guess I stood up too fast, because I got dizzy, and Fujin stood up, steadying me. She catches on to things quickly, thats why I love her.  
  
"Oho... man, Seifa..."  
  
"PROBLEM? WHAT?" Fujin asks.  
  
"...T-toni..."  
  
"She dump ya?" I ask.  
  
"N-no, man, I mean we're still in love... but..."  
  
"But wha?"  
  
"She's pregnant."  
  
"SHOCK! ...IS YOURS?"  
  
"Of course, ya know!?" Wow... Raijin's gonna be a father... A father... I always thought I'd be the first one to do things... to move away from those two... But... I got mixed up in love...  
  
"Wow, Raijin... That's pretty big."  
  
"Yeah, I know, ya know?!"  
  
"MOVE. AWAY?"  
  
"Probably. Me and Toni gotta buy a house. We're thinking Timber."  
  
"You guys gonna get married...?" I ask dumbly.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"WORK. GET BACK TO."   
  
"Yes, mam." He left, and Fujin glanced at me.  
  
"Well, ...I guess it'll just be you and me." I say.  
  
"Mhm." It'll feel akward... We were supposed to be a posse... now its just like we're a ... we're two people... who live in the same house... Who love eachother. Damn, what does that make us? ...Everything is so screwed up! I stand up and walk into the bathroom to get some aspirin.  
  
"Seifer. Can you get me some aspirin?"   
  
"Sure... how many?"  
  
"Two..." I down my three and walk back into the room, and give her the aspirin. She runs her finger over her stitches on her neck.  
  
"It hurtin'?"  
  
"Y-yeah, just a little though..." I sit down next to her, and she sighs, and looks down at the floor.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"POSSE. SUPPOSED TO BE."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"NOW. GET BROKEN UP." Oh shit. Are you gonna leave?! ...  
  
"...Ah... are you gonna... leave?" I manage.  
  
"NEGATIVE." Okay, good.  
  
"O-oh."  
  
"SHOULD GO. REST."  
  
"No, I'm fine."  
  
"SEIFER. NOT LIE. LOOK PALE." Stop talking like that.  
  
"...Yeah... right."  
  
"...SERIOUS."  
  
"Mhm."  
  
"SEIFER!"  
  
"...What?"  
  
"REST."  
  
"I am resting."  
  
"..."  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"...What?"  
  
"Don't worry." ...Damn, life has to be so fucking hard!  
  
Fifteen minutes later, we are still sitting in silence, when a question, that has been bothering me, kinda... comes out.  
  
"Hey, Fuu?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"...You and Squall..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...You didn't... do anything... right?"  
  
"...What do you mean?" They did... oh... shit. She stood up and looked at me.   
  
"I'm, I'm gonna go make coffee." She says, walking in to the kitchen.  
  
"Dammit, Fujin! Come back here." I get up, and feel a little dizzy, but find my way into the kitchen.  
  
"Well, did you?"  
  
"Um... did I do what?"  
  
"Squall." That was... not so good... on my part. She kicked me in the shin. ...  
  
"Fuck, Fujin! What the hell was that for?!"  
  
"YOU! RUDE! BUSINESS NOT!" She walked into her room. I sat down in a chair, and rested my head in my hands. That's gonna leave a bruise... Heheh. "BUSINESS NOT!," eh? That tells me they did... Damn Squall... Good thing the filthy bastard is dead. And I killed him... at a high cost. Fujin... she slept in my bed, with me, last night... Does that mean she's comfortable with me... or was she just not thinking clearly? Finally deciding to apologize, I knocked on the door to her room.  
  
"...Fujin."  
  
"Go away."  
  
"Fujin, I'll just walk in."  
  
"And I'll just walk out." Damn...  
  
"Not if I don't let you."  
  
"..." I opened the door, and shut it behind me, locking it. All of the doors in this house have keyholes on the inside. I'm the only one with the key, though.  
  
"...WHAT WANT?" She stood up and walked over to me.  
  
"First of all, speak normally."  
  
"NEGATIVE."  
  
"Well, then you won't be leaving."  
  
"CANNOT LOCK IN. NOT FAIR."  
  
"...Fair to me."  
  
"Seifer... stop it. Go away."  
  
"...Just, eh, tell me. Did you?"  
  
"BUSINESS NOT! GO AWAY."  
  
"That 'business not' tells me you did." I heard her groan.  
  
"DIDN'T!"  
  
"Is that the truth...?"  
  
"YES."  
  
"...I don't believe you."  
  
"WHY?"  
  
"Because..." I honestly didn't know, it just seemed so... not real.  
  
"YOU WANT? I MOVE?" She asks finally.  
  
"N-no!" I grab her arm.  
  
"THEN LEAVE ALONE."  
  
"...Fuu..." She pulls my hand away from her arm and walks toward the other side of the room. I follow, and grasp her arm again.  
  
"You need to stop running away from me." She looks up at me.  
  
"Well, you need to stop coming after me." ...  
  
"As soon as you stop running." She glares at the floor. I place my other hand under her chin and tilt her head up towards me gently.  
  
"I'm never gonna stop coming after you... ever." I leaned in toward her and kissed her.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"...Shh." I kissed her again... and she kissed back.  
  
"Hewo?!" Who the hell is that?! I continue to kiss Fujin, ignoring who ever is pounding on the front door. She's more important... by all means.  
  



	15. -Betrayed-

^I'm crying? Why? Is it because I trusted you?^  
  
-Betrayed-  
  
~Fujin  
  
Hopeless. Hopelessly... in love. Seifer wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeper. Oh god, Seifer... Um, shouldn't we get the door...? ...I swear, all Squall did was kiss me... please... just stop it. But... the only problem was, I was joining in the dance. Finally, I fought off my senses, and was going to stop, but, by that time, I didn't want to.  
  
"Hewo?! Answer the door! I know you guys are home!"  
  
"We should get that..." I finally manage to suggest.  
  
"...No, we shouldn't..." He continued to kiss me. Stop it. He only kissed me deeper, and then my neck began to hurt.  
  
"Awright! Don't make me use da key Raijin gave me."  
  
"He gave that bitch a key to our house?!" Seifer said pulling away from me.  
  
"I guess so..."  
  
"Fucking..." I couldn't hear the rest of the things he said, since he moved to the door, and unlocked it, then walked out. I could still feel his lips on mine, and it was only a reminder of how much control he had over me... without me even knowing it. I love him... so much it hurts... but, I'm just so... so afraid he doesn't really love me. He's reassured me so many times... I just... just can't believe. I didn't mind him having so much control over me... I just needed to know that he loved me- for real. Still.  
  
I finally stepped out of the bedroom, and seen Seifer talking to Toni. Was it just me, or were they flirting? ...Seifer. Walking up to them, I placed my hand on Seifer's arm. He was leaning against the doorframe, as they talked about Raijin. There was eough fake laughter and smiles to make me sick.  
  
"Ooh, weell, I should be goin' now. Nice ta see ya, Seifour." She said his name oddly. It made me upset.  
  
"Bye, now." He said, waving as she walked away. ... He walked back in and shut the door. I turned around, too upset to face him... Making "friends" with Raijin's fiancee... Bastard. I sat on the sofa and turned on the T.V. I pretended to be real enthrawled in "Your Local Forcast." I shouldn't be mad. It's not like we said that we were going to commit to eachother... I mean... yeah. He has the right to... mess with every girl in Balamb. So what if he loves me? He probably loves tons of other people too...! Seifer walked into the kitchen. Laying back on the sofa, I sighed. I sat back up because the position made it uncomfortable for my neck. I walked into the bathroom, and opened the bottle of aspirin, preparing to take more, but Seifer cleared his throat, leaning on the doorframe.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"...You shouldn't take so many in such a closed period of time."  
  
"..." I downed two of them. I'll take whatever I want.  
  
"What the hell is your problem?" He asked.  
  
"..."  
  
"Answer me."  
  
"...YOU."  
  
"What the fuck did I do?"  
  
"SELFISH, EGOISTIC. BASTARD." ...Shouldn't have said that.  
  
"What did you say?!"  
  
"SAID, SELFISH, EGOISTIC. BAS-TARD!" ...I need to stop. Okay, no more. Just go in your room. He left the key in the keyhole. I can just lock him out.  
  
"...Damn... what the fuck did I do?!" ...Stop. Don't say anything.  
  
"..."  
  
"Friggin' say something." Come on, two more feet, and you can reach your door.  
  
"..." Just as I reach for the door knob, he grabbed me and turned me around. I looked up at him angrily.  
  
"...Well!?" I closed my eye and turned my head.  
  
"..." I pulled away from him, and opened the door to my room. Just walk in. Almost there. He grabbed me again, and turned me around.  
  
"Talk to me, dammit!"  
  
"..." My breathing becomes heavy. I feel threatened. I look up at him. He's angry. Seifer is scary when he's angry. Stop it. His grip on my wrist tightens. Ah... that hurts... let go.  
  
"Let me go!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Seifer, you're hurting me." My wrist is so small compared to his gloved hands. So... fragile.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Seifer!" I cry out as he tightens his grip.  
  
"..." He lets go, and I run into my room, not even bothering to lock the door behind me. I climb over to my bed, and sit, glancing at my shuriken. Maybe I'll never come out of here... Seifer why did you hurt me? ...Did you want to hurt me...? What did I do wrong? You did the wrong thing, not me! ...I wait patiently for some sort of noise. Nothing, dead silence. An hour later I finally hear a bang, and the wall in front of me shakes. A small, foward, dent appears. I step out of my room. Everything is dark. Stepping quietly, I search for Seifer. The light in the bathroom is still on from when I left it, and I look down at my wrist. Its red, and has a growing bruise. Seifer... I shut off the light. He's not in the kitchen. He must be in his room. I try to open the door. Its locked. Then I remember the key he left in my room... Will it work? I get it, and come back. It fits and I unlock the door. Taking a deep breath, I walk into the room. The sudden coldness startles me, yet I keep going. I trusted you, Seifer. I thought you'd never hurt me... He's staring out the window. I glance at the wall. There's a rather large dent, and some blood on it... So angry... at me? I glance at his hand, and there is some blood streaming down onto the carpet. He continues to stare out the window, not noticing my presence. I step closer. I exhale, and walk over so I'm only a foot behind him. I take his bleeding hand into my own, and wipe away some of the blood with my sleeve. He turns and looks at me. He looks upset... but not angry.  
  
"Fujin... I'm so sorry..."  
  
"Seifer..." He takes me in his arms and holds me against his body. I've lost some trust in you... please, Seifer, renew it. That's when I notice it. I'm crying? Why? Is it because I trusted you? He runs his fingers through my hair. I back away from him, and wipe away stray tears.  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"Don't... please don't." I shake my head, and fork my fingers through my hair.  
  
"Fujin..."  
  
"I didn't think that... you'd... ever... hurt me..." I back away some more, wondering why I ever came in here.  
  
"Fujin, I wasn't thinking..."  
  
"...Mhm." I backed away some more.  
  
"Fuu... please..."  
  
"N-no..."  
  
"Fujin."  
  
"Stop it."  
  
"...Just listen."  
  
"NO!" I turn around and head for the door, getting out. The front door. I can leave now, and never come back. Never have to see Seifer again... No, it was just a mistake, he won't do it again... Ugh...!  
  
"Fujin." He's right behind me. Real close. Oh god... don't. I won't turn around. I turn and face him.   
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...I'm... so sorry. I wasn't thinking. You can leave, if you want to... I'm not gonna hold you back."  
  
"I don't want to leave. I love you, Seifer, nothing can change that... But, I can lose trust in you... and I did."  
  



	16. -Perfect-

^Maybe you can forigve me... but I know that I can never forgive myself.^  
  
-Perfect-  
  
~Seifer  
  
God, I didn't mean to hurt you... I was just... Aw, Fuck! I hate myself so much sometimes... Just when she said I was hurting her... I wanted to show her that I wasn't, and could hurt her much more if I had meant to hurt her... And I so, I hurt her...  
  
"Fujin... please..."  
  
"...I-I'm gonna go to bed..."  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"..." She left. I kept seeing her face when I hurt her... She looked so innocent, and shocked... maybe even afraid. Dammit! ...Fucking... Fucking... Fucking ME! The front door opened and in walked Raijin. Wow, its one already? I checked my watch. Yep.  
  
"H-hey, Seifa."  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"Yo, is everything alright?"  
  
"Y-yeah..."  
  
"Where's Fujin?"  
  
"Sleeping."  
  
"Oh... her neck bothering her...?"  
  
"Not really." Yeah, her *wrist* is though...  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"So... um, you ready for fatherhood?" I ask, trying not to let my depressed and upset mood catch on.  
  
"Not really, but, I will be, ya know?!"  
  
"Mm, so, have long have ya known her? A week or so? And you are already gettin' married and having children."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. But Toni is just so loveable..." ...Then it struck me, like being slapped across the face. That's why Fujin was so upset. I had been flirting with her... without even knowing it. Right in front of Fujin... Dammit! Well, I wasn't flirting. She was flirting with me... but still I flirted back...   
  
"Yo, Seifa, you okay?"  
  
"Y-yeah, I'm fine..."  
  
"You don't seem it... and why is Fujin in bed? She feeling okay? I don't want her to be sick or nothin'." ...Heheh. Always so caring for Fujin... You wouldn't even hurt her... and I did...  
  
"...She was tired, okay?! Dammit!" I walked into my bedroom. Fifteen minutes later, I walked back out. Raijin must have gone to bed... Oh wait... Voices. I stepped up to the door of their room.  
  
"What happened to your wrist, Fujin?!"  
  
"NOTHING. YOU. SEE WRONG." Fuu...  
  
"No! That thing is bruised up like... uh, I dunno, but it looks pretty bad!"  
  
"WINDOW. TRIED CLOSE. FELL ON WRIST."  
  
"Really?! Ouch, ya know?! You want some ice?"  
  
"NEGATIVE. WILL BE FINE. NOW, YOU SLEEP."  
  
"Uh, okay, ya know?!" There was silence. I was so upset at myself. I never thought I'd hate myself so much... I looked down at my hand. There was a bruise and a cut on my knuckles. Well worth it, if I hurt Fujin, I deserved to be hurt more... I considered putting another hole in the wall, but, that'd just be more to pay for...  
  
~~~  
  
I didn't sleep that night, I just sat at Fujin's window seat and stared out the window. Raijin left in the morning, and Fujin remained in her bedroom. Fujin, please... just listen... come out. I finally just walked over to the door and knocked.  
  
"Um, ...hold on..." Hold on? Two minutes later, I hear a faint "Come in." I enter.  
  
"Uh, Fujin...?" She walks over to me.  
  
"Yeah?" She crosses her arms, and looks toward the ground.  
  
"I'm sorry for flirting with Toni... I'm sorry for hurting you... I'm sorry for the thing with Squall... Dammit, Fuu, I'm just so sorry!"  
  
"...You have the right to flirt with anyone you want, its not like... like... um, we're married or anything... With Squall, that wasn't your fault... And.. when you hurt me... I... I..." She takes a deep breath. "I don't understand why you... would..." She took a really long pause. I wanted to put my hand on her shoulder... But I held back.   
  
"Why you would hurt me... but... I'm, ...I'm sure you have your... um, r- reasons..." She finished. How could she say something like that? How could she be so... forgiving?  
  
"No... Fuu... I didn't mean to... I wasn't thinking clearly... God dammit. I'd never hurt you again. I swear..."  
  
"I, I know..." I grabbed her lower arm and examined her wrist. It had huge, bluish-yellow bruises on either side.  
  
"I'm so sorry..." I say, resting it back by her side.  
  
"N-no, it's alright." She seemed nervous. She was stuttering an awful lot. All my fault... It's all my fault. Everything that had hurt her for the last week was MY fault. I'd never hurt Fujin, but I did...hurt her. Or caused her to be hurt... I felt dizzy. Okay, I'm okay... I am... my fault. All MY fault. The dizziness worsened, and I grabbed the door knob behind me to steady myself. Fujin walked toward me, concerned.  
  
"Are you... a-alright?!" She grabbed me, and brought me over to sit on her bed.  
  
"Thanks..." I said, still feeling a little dizzy.  
  
"Mm... you want some aspirin or something? Y-you don't look all that well..."  
  
"No, I'll be fine."  
  
"You sure...?"  
  
"Uh huh." She sat beside me, and just looked at me. What is it? She brush some of my hair off of my forehead, and this affectionate act showed me that she forgave me, and I hugged her. I made you cry... Maybe you can forigve me... but I know that I can never forgive myself.  
  
"S-Seifer... can you... tell me... why?" She asked into my shoulder.  
  
"It was an accident. I wasn't thinking... I just got annoyed when you said that I was hurting you... I wanted to show you that I wasn't, and could hurt you much more if I had meant to hurt you... And I know I was hurting you in the first place, but I didn't then, I just wanted you to tell me what was wrong... and why you were upset at me... but I know what it was now... I'm so sorry..."  
  
"Seifer... It's okay... I forgive you..."  
  
"...N-no... I don't even forgive myself... God, Fuu..."  
  
"...Please, just forget about it... I get hurt all the time..."  
  
"But *I* hurt you this time! Not just some half-assed enemy!" Maybe I am just a half-assed enemy...  
  
"Which just makes you easier to forgive." You're so perfect... Everything you say... is just so befitting.  
  
"...Fujin."  
  
"It's alright... A couple of bruises aren't anything compared to what say, um, Squall did to me..."  
  
"But that's my fault too!"  
  
"It is NOT!"  
  
"Yeah, it is, you know that." We seperated from our embrace.  
  
"Seifer, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything that happens to me! ...That's why you're so sick with this stress thing... just, please..."  
  
"...Yeah..." I didn't agree with her, but I didn't feel like arguing either.  
  
"...Fuu?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why did you... uh, make up that excuse for Raijin...?" ...Hm...  
  
"I... just didn't want him... to think that you hurt me... purposely, thats all..."  
  



	17. -Ashamed-

^No... I forgave Seifer... I just... just... had been hurt both physically and emotionally by the two people who I trusted...^  
  
-Ashamed-  
  
~Fujin  
  
Is that why though? Or did I just not want to tell him... because I was ashamed? Ashamed of trusting Seifer... And he hurt me... Ashamed of my trusting the wrong people... again!? No... I forgave Seifer... I just... just... had been hurt both physically and emotionally by the two people who I trusted... Maybe I should just stop trusting people. But, I still trusted Seifer... for some reason. A reason I couldn't understand.  
  
"...Fujin..."  
  
"Please, let's just move on, okay?"  
  
"Fuu..." I stood up, running my fingers down the grey threads of my stitches, because they hurt, and a gentle touch usually worked better than aspirin.  
  
"...That's it... Its over... We won't talk about this anymore..."   
  
"But, Fujin, I hurt you."  
  
"So what?! Its not important, I really don't want to talk about it!"  
  
"Alright..." He stood up, and we walked out of the room. My neck was really starting to hurt, and I just went into the bathroom to get some aspirin, even thought it didn't work too well. I reached in the cabinet and pulled out the container. Empty.   
  
"...Dammit." I muttered tossing the empty bottle in the trash.  
  
"Seifer, I'll be right back." I said.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"...To, um, pick up some aspirin."  
  
"We don't have anymore?"  
  
"Nope..."  
  
"I'll get it."  
  
"No, thats alright, I've got it." He stood in the doorway, staring at my neck.  
  
"It looks red. I'll go up and get it."  
  
"Seifer."  
  
"Bye." He left, and I sat on the sofa, waiting. My neck began to throb in pain, and I crouched over.  
  
"Ugh, dammit!" I ran my finger's up and down my neck, trying to coax the nerves to stop. I usually handle pain easily... but... this was just too much at once. Not to mention my leg, which hurt whenever I applied pressure. I didn't complain to Seifer or Raijin, though. I didn't want pity, just ASPIRIN! Damn... My neck really hurts... I stood up and walked into the bathroom, where I looked at it the mirror. It was rather red looking. Maybe it was infected. I guess the old baffoon of a doctor knew what he was talking about. I glanced at my wrist. Seifer... I wish you'd hurry back. I remembered looking right into his eyes while he tightened his grasp on my wrist. He looked angry and annoyed... Maybe... you don't love me... Just maybe. There's a knock at the door, and I walk over and open it.  
  
"Um, hello, I'm Chris from Balamb Heating... You haven't paid the heat bill this month. Do you have the money now?"  
  
"...HOLD. CAN CHECK."  
  
"Alright... By the way, its 1000 gil." ...No... We don't have it. I walk into the house anyway, and walk into Seifer's room. Maybe he has it lying around.... No.  
  
"DON'T HAVE." I say, returning to the door. "CAN COME TOMMAROW?"  
  
"...Well, I'm gonna have to turn off your heating."  
  
"BUT! IS MIDDLE OF DECEMBER."  
  
"...Sorry."  
  
"PLEASE?"  
  
"No, mam. I apologize." ...Insensitve bastard.  
  
"FINE." I shut the door and walked back into the bathroom. Slowly, the house got real cold.  
  
"Seifer..." I say aloud, looking at my neck.  
  
"Yes?" Oh, he's here...  
  
"Oh, um, hi..." He handed me the bottle, and I took my aspirin. He watched me. Why?  
  
"Ya think maybe it's infected?"  
  
"...Mm... maybe."  
  
"You should go lie down."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." I walked into my room, and turned on the light, looking around. I layed down on the bed, and fell asleep.  
  
When I woke up, I heard banging. Someone was in my room.  
  
"Hey, assholes, don't make so much noise, someone is sleeping here."  
  
"We're just doing our job, man. Don't be so pushy."  
  
"Yeah, still, do your job well, or I'll hire other men." I sat up and looked around. People were moving Raijin's things out. I caught Seifer's glance, and he motioned me to come out of the room. I followed him out, and he looked at me.  
  
"How's the neck?"  
  
"It still hurts, but the pillows help, you know?"  
  
"Mm."  
  
"So, they are moving Raijin's things out already?"  
  
"Yeah... I'm gonna miss him."  
  
"Mhm..." I say.  
  
"Hey, beautiful, you're gonna need to step aside, that is, unless you want to do something Saturday..." Said a voice from behind me. I almost turned around and kicked him, but instead Seifer stepped in front of me.  
  
"...Hey, you horny bastard, your job is to move the fucking furniture, not to admire someone *else's* lady, ya got that?!" Seifer said, scowling. The mover nodded, fear in his eyes, and I stepped aside. The mattress was moved out of the house... His lady... that's what he refered to me as... Hm... I've never been refered to as a "lady" before... I smile inwardly and turn back to Seifer.  
  
"Uh, ya wanna go rest in my room? It's cold, I know... but, its better than being around them..." He motioned to a group of movers trying to get a base-mattress out of the room.  
  
"Y-yeah." I walked into his room, and he said he was going to keep an eye on the movers. It was cold, as usual. I wonder why... I glance at the wall. A hole in the wall... Seifer... I walk over to it, and run my fingers over it. Then I see them. His gloves. He must've tossed them off before punching in the wall... Why? So... he could get hurt too? Was he that sorry? Oh, Seifer... I lay back on the bed. I can't sleep all too well, so I just lay there, taking in the smell of his bed.  
  
"Hey, they're almost done." Seifer enters the room.  
  
"Good..."  
  
"Wow, I made quite a mess over there."  
  
"Yeah, you did..."  
  
"Damn, I'll have to fix that..."  
  
"Hehe, good luck with that..."  
  
"Are you sayin' I can't be a handy-man?"  
  
"No, not at all..."  
  
"Okay then. I'll fix it myself!" Oh god...  
  
He exits the room to get what he needs, and I sigh. I'm not ashamed for trusting you anymore... No. I'm ashamed for not trusting you. It was an accident, an honest mistake. You would never hurt me... I believe you now. I don't know what did it. What made me believe that you love me... but, I get this feeling now that you do! ...Do care... Do love...  
  
"Hey, Fujin!"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"...Do we have any tools...?"  
  
"Um, I think Raijin keeps some under the sink..."  
  
"Thanks." He comes back in with a box, and walks over to the wall, and begins to try and fix it.  
  
"...Raijin wants the sofa." He says.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Toni doesn't have one, and they need it."  
  
"...Oh..."  
  
"I said he could have it."  
  
"Seifer!"  
  
"Well... I mean, I couldn't have them going off and buyin' one. They've got a kid to take of." Hm, you almost sound caring.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"I'm gonna miss the old guy." He says, applying some sort of putty to the wall.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"He only has one more night in this house... It was fun, while it lasted."  
  
"He's moving so soon?"  
  
"Yeah, he sleeps here tonight, and leaves in the morning..."  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"Hey, Fuu, it's really cold in here. Can ya go turn up the heat?" I almost get up. The heat... Dammit! I forgot to tell you...  
  
"...No."  
  
"What? Your neck hurt that bad?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"What's wrong...?"  
  
"Seifer... um, the heat... the heat got turned off."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Y-yeah, we didn't pay the bill."  
  
"Shit..." He finishes up the wall and sighs.   
  
"Well, I told ya I could do it!"  
  
"...Yep!" I smile, and he walks out of the room, probably to go call the heating company.  
  
~~~  
  
Later that night, after Raijin had already come home and gone to bed, Seifer and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking. He was wearing his trenchcoat, and you can't blame him for it, because the house was so cold. I just had on a pair of baggy black pants and a sleeveless shirt.  
  
"You should really get a sweatshirt on. You must be freezing."  
  
"I'm fine..."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I have to work tommarow."  
  
"Seifer! You aren't well enough yet. You aren't supposed to go back for another week... And you get sick pension."  
  
"...Yeah, but we need the extra money... Damn, I finally thought we had caught up..."  
  
"I'll work. My neck feels much better."  
  
"...Or we could always just let the butcher store his meat in my room and charge him. I mean, damn, there are like, sub-zero temperatures in there." I laughed, and smiled at him.  
  
"Well, you know, we can just figure it out in the morning..."  
  
"Yeah, its late." I stood up and walked toward my room.  
  
"See you in the A.M." He called after me, walking into his room.  
  
"Yeah..." I walked into my room, and went into my closet to find a sweatshirt. I had no sweatshirts. Oh well... I walked over to my bed, and lifted the covers. About to climb in, I heard a cough. Raijin. In my bed. I would've kicked him out, had it not been his last night to sleep. So, grabbing a blanket from the closet, I layed on the floor. But, five minutes later, I found it was too cold, and uncomfortable for my neck, yet, I wasn't sleepy enough to go sleep with Seifer... Hehe. Sighing, I went to go mess with the thermostat. Maybe there was a little heat left.   
  
I screwed with it for about five minutes.  
  
"God damned thing!" I said, pounding on the plastic circle. The door next to me opened.  
  
"What's wrong?" Seifer emerged, scratching the back of his head. He had on a black t-shirt, and rather large dark blue sweatpants.  
  
"I, um, stubbed my toe." I lied.  
  
"Why aren't you in bed?"  
  
"I was, um, gonna go... to the bathroom."  
  
"You're headed the wrong way."  
  
"I got lost."  
  
"In your own house?"  
  



	18. -Uptight-

^She left. I was just too tired, dizzy and discombobulated to get up and stop her.^  
  
-Uptight-  
  
~Seifer  
  
"Oh... yeah, I noticed that. I was just really tired." She made her way into the bathroom, and I sighed. Raijin's probably sleeping on the floor in there. I'll get him an extra blanket for Fujin to give him... I took one out of the closet and waited for Fujin. She came out, and looked at me in the darkness.  
  
"Um, you should give this to Raijin."  
  
"No, I believe he is *plenty* warm..." Hm?  
  
"What do you mean? He's on the friggin floor, and he's *warm?*"  
  
"...Hahah... Yeah, Seifer... mhm."  
  
"No, what?"  
  
"...Nothing. I'll take that blanket though, that is... if you don't mind." She reached for the blanket.  
  
"Ahh, sure." I wasn't all to clear as to what she was talking about, but I handed her the blanket anyway.  
  
"Why don't you get a sweater or somethin' on?" I asked, looking at her bare arms.  
  
"...I... don't have one."  
  
"Oh, okay then, I'll give ya one of mine."  
  
"Okay, thanks..." She followed me into my room, and I rumaged through my draw until I found a sweatshirt.   
  
"Here." I handed it to her, and took the blanket, so she could put it on. She looked so little in it, as the moonlight revealed. Fujin smiled, and took the blanket back.  
  
"Why don't you sleep in here? Its too cold to be alone in here." I suggested, realizing that Raijin must be sleeping in her bed.  
  
"A-alright." We got into bed, and soon I could hear her steady breathing of sleep. I felt dizzy, and reached over to my nightstand and grabbed aspirin and water. Damn... I hate this. I guess I finally fell asleep too.  
  
When I woke up the next morning, Fujin was still sleeping. I got up and walked into the kitchen, and seen a note on the table.  
  
"Left. See ya around, ya know?!  
  
~Raijin"  
  
"Left already?" I muttered aloud. The doorbell rang, and I walked over and answered it. It was Joe.  
  
"I brought yer check!"  
  
"Oh, thanks, man." I took the envelope, hoping it would be enough to pay to heating bill.  
  
"How're ya feelin'?"  
  
"I'm feeling better... I'll be back late next week."  
  
"How's um.... ya know, the girl, with the neck-thing?"  
  
"Fujin?"  
  
"Yeah! That's the one."  
  
"She's okay... I think the cut might be infected though... Damn, right on the neck..."  
  
"Ya, that's a dangerous one! ...Well, I gotta get going to work. See you!"  
  
"Bye..." He left, and I walked back inside, and opened the envelope. 1500 gil. Good, that should handle it. I walked into the bathroom and took a quick, cold shower, and dressed in my normal attire, minus the trenchcoat, which I'd have to go get in the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, Seifer..." I turned, and Fujin walked out of my bedroom, barefoot, with my sweatshirt on. She looked cute, for Fujin.  
  
"Hi..."  
  
"Did... he leave?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh... Well, um, I'm gonna go take a shower..."  
  
"...The water's real cold."  
  
"...Then it'll be a quick shower."  
  
"Heh..." She walked into the bathroom, and I heard the shower start. Sighing, I stepped into the kitchen where I made coffee. It didn't come out too well, because I think I put too much water this time...   
  
"So, you got your check?" Fujin says from the doorway. I look up, and she's holding up the check. Still wearing my sweatshirt, she has on a pair of black pants and boots.  
  
"Yeah... I think it's enough."  
  
"Mhm..." She poured herself the leftovers of my coffee and sat down. I had a really bad headache, and felt dizzy, but not as bad as usual.  
  
"Seifer, did the doctor give you some sort of medication for that...? I mean, you look really pale." I do...? Oh, well, he told me to pick some of it up at the drugstore, but I never did...  
  
"Well, uh, no he didn't give me any, but..."  
  
"But?"  
  
"He told me to go pick it up..."  
  
"Did you?"  
  
"Well, no... but, I don't think...-"  
  
"I'll go pick it up. What's it called?"  
  
"I'll go..."  
  
"What's it called?"  
  
"...Odine stress-ease."  
  
"I'll be back."  
  
"Fuu... I'll go, I'll go..." She left. I was just too tired, dizzy and discombobulated to get up and stop her. I couldn't help but wonder what was causing all of this stress... Was it Fujin? No, its wrong to blame her for this... These thoughts only worsened my headache and dizziness.  
  
While she was gone, I paid the heating, and the heat was turned on. The house warmed up, but, my room remained colder than ever...  
  
"Seifer?"  
  
"In the kitchen." She handed me the pills, and I reluctantly took two with water.  
  
"You pay the heating bill?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Maybe you should go lie down."  
  
"Alright." I walked into my room and layed on my bed. I couldn't sleep, I had too many things on my mind. I rolled over and groaned at the pain in my head. I needed something to get my mind off of all of this... I pinched m eyes closed, and fell asleep.  
  
~~~  
  
"Seifer! Seifer wake UP!" I could feel her hands on my arm, shaking me. Wha...?  
  
"What?"  
  
"...You were screaming! Are you alright?" Oh... must have been dreaming... I think it was about Squall not really being dead.  
  
"...Yeah... I can't remember what I was dreaming about though... Thanks for waking me..."  
  
"Mhm." She glanced at the floor, then back at me.  
  
"Where are the aspirin?"  
  
"...Right on my nightstand."  
  
"No, they aren't."  
  
"What? That's where I put them..."  
  
"Oh... I'll find them... don't worry."  
  
"Your neck bothering you?"  
  
"Just a little."  
  
"...Mhm..." I stood up, my headache coming back.   
  
"Seifer, what do you think is causing all of this stress? Is it me?"  
  
"I don't think so..."  
  
"Because if I'm causing all this..."  
  
"You're not."  
  
"Yeah, but, I don't see what else could be..."  
  
"Just SeeD or something." Suddenly, I felt excessively dizzy. I looked at Fujin, who looked at me quizically. I needed to steady myself. To get my mind off of things... I kissed her deeply, trying my best not to hurt her neck. Kissing her lifted all of my stress, and I didn't feel dizzy any longer. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her harder, still making an effort not to hurt her neck. At this point, if her neck wasn't so messed up, and her leg didn't have a cut down it, I would have attempted sex. But, that probably wouldn't work anyway, because... well, Fujin is very uptight about that kind of thing... I think. I stopped kissing her, before I couldn't stop, and I know she wouldn't tell me if I was hurting her neck, she'd just let me keep going until it was bleeding. So, I just looked at her.  
  
"Thanks, that helped." I say, smiling slyly.  
  



	19. -Healed-

^I don't lie alot. I just tell lies to make him feel better... or is it to make me feel better?^  
  
-Healed-  
  
~Fujin.  
  
Not sure how to answer his words, I just nodded.  
  
"You don't have to be so uptight all the time, you know. Just loosen up." He patted me on the shoulder.  
  
"What are you suggesting?"  
  
"...I dunno... Just, loosen up."  
  
"Hm."  
  
"Either way, I think you are the cure for my stress-sickness."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"...You lift all my stress away when you kiss me... I love you, Fuu." Those words...  
  
"I... love you too."  
  
~~~  
  
And so the days passed, and Seifer had to return to work. He left that morning, and I had gotten my stitches out. My neck was fairly healed up, and I was glad. It still hurt sometimes too... And Seifer still had a stress-disorder, but... it was getting better also. I'd return to work tommarow. Then what would become of us...? The same people who were there before? Leaving early, and coming home late... just to go to bed? And to repeat all of it the next day...? Have Saturdays off to catch up on missed sleep, and occasionally work on Sudays? Is that how it would be...? I continued to stare out the window from my window seat. It was raining, and around midnight. The house was cold, and I could've gone to turn up the heat, but, I didn't feel like it. I like the cold. And another thing, Seifer kept misplacing the aspirin, so everyday, one of us would go out and buy a new bottle of aspirin, before the other was even half gone... Odd. I stood up and walked over to the kitchen, to make some coffee. I sat at the table, tapping my fingers against the tabletop...the lights flickered, then went out. Again? I stood up, and the door opened.   
  
"Damn lights are out...! Fuu, you awake?"  
  
"Y-yeah, I'm in here..."  
  
"Alright..." The lights flickered and returned. I looked up at him.  
  
"You're soaked..." I mutter, walking over to him.  
  
"Yeah, bastards made us work up at the communication tower today..."  
  
"Oh..." I take his coat and put it in the bathroom, over the shower head, and walk back out as he leans his gunblade against a wall.  
  
"...I'm so tired... I'm gonna go sleep."  
  
"Okay... good night."  
  
"G'night..." He walked into his room, and I could hear him his tossing his sopping wet clothes on the floor. I sighed, walked into the living room, but stopped dead in my tracks when there was pounding on the front door. Loud pounding. Hard pounding.  
  
"What the fuck?!" A barefoot and shirtless Seifer emerged from his room. "Who the fuck is that?"  
  
"I don't know..." I noticed the scar that ran across his stomach. From Squall... The pounding continued. Seifer walked over to the door, and peered out the look-hole. Seifer turned and looked at me wide-eyed.  
  
"You're not going to believe this." He says.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's friggin' Squall."  
  
"H-how?!"  
  
"I thought he was dead, dammit! I killed him, stabbed my fucking gunblade into his chest... I had thought the meds took him away... but, come to think of it, he could have just as soon walked out the door."  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Get me my gunblade." I turned and got it, handing it to him. I retreived my shuriken, also. Seifer opened the door, his muscles bulging with tension.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Oh, if it isn't fucking Leonheart."  
  
"I'm not here to fight..."  
  
"Oh, are you here to try and fuck Fujin again...?!" God, he can be so vulgar at times... Cringing, I stepped closer.  
  
"No. I'm just telling you. I'm alive, and very well, and you will get your arrest carried out."  
  
"Yeah, sure." I noticed it then. Seifer was getting dizzy, and unstable. No one else would have noticed it, no one. I walked up to him, and put my hand on his back to reassure him.  
  
"Yeah, so, be prepared."  
  
"Yeah, whatever, I don't need to if its any of your SeeDs. Just go fuck a-"  
  
"Bye, Seifer." Squall interupted, walking away. He drove off, and then Seifer shut the door.  
  
"...Fuck." Seifer forked his fingers through his hair, tossing his gunblade on the floor. I almost said "It'll be fine..." but then realized, no, it wouldn't be. Last time, he nearly killed me... and we had Raijin to help us then.  
  
"Seifer... they can't do anything to us..."  
  
"Yeah, or we'll go legal on their asses."  
  
"Y-yeah, that's right..."  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"You should go rest, Seifer. You don't want to get sick again..."  
  
"I'm not so tired anymore..."   
  
"You still need rest..."  
  
"You've got a point... If you need anything, don't be afraid to wake me up, okay?"  
  
"Alright..."  
  
"See you." As he walked into his room, I walked over to the window seat, and on my way leaned Seifer's Hyperion against the wall, and shut off the lights.  
  
An hour later, I'm still awake, even though I have to work tommarow. Seifer emerges from his room.  
  
"You okay?" I ask.  
  
"Your still awake? And, yeah, I'm fine."  
  
"Why aren't you sleeping?"  
  
"Couldn't."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't feel secure. There could be SeeDs lurking about..."  
  
"Oh, Seifer, you're acting..." I searched my mind for a word.  
  
"Stupid?"  
  
"Sort of..."  
  
"Well, I don't want you getting hurt again..."  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
"How are you so sure? There could be a SeeD just watching you... Don't sit in the window anymore."  
  
"What?! You're being paranoid. I think this stress thing is getting to you." I stand up and walk over to him. His arms are crossed and he looks... uptight.  
  
"Seifer... do you remember when you told me to loosen up?"  
  
"Y-yeah."  
  
"Well, right now, you're awfully uptight yourself..."  
  
"Same could be said about you... Just not in the same sense..."  
  
"That's not true! I'm fine now... I'm not worried about the SeeDs at all..." Lies, lies, lies. I don't lie alot. I just tell lies to make him feel better... or is it to make me feel better?  
  
"Sure." He sits on the floor, and I sit beside him.  
  
"Damn, we need another sofa." He says.  
  
"Mm..."  
  
"You get your stitches out today?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Thats good... They hurt?"  
  
"No, not at all." That's fairly true. Yawning, I rest my head on his bare shoulder.  
  
"Are ya tired?"  
  
"...Just a little... I don't want to sleep though..."  
  
"But you've got work in the morning."  
  
"Mhm..." I feel myself start to drift off on his shoulder, so I sit up.  
  
"You... should go to sleep." I say.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because, *I'm* tired, and I'm not leaving you awake." I can see him raise an eyebrow.  
  
"Alright, alright." He stands up and offers me a hand. I take it, and he pulls me up. God, I'm so tired... I should really just go sleep before I do something stupid... He doesn't let go of my hand, instead, he pulls me toward him, and kisses me. He kisses hard, but I can tell he is still trying to be gentle about my neck. You don't have to be. It's fine. To show him this, I kiss him back, and put my arms around him. His back is cold to my warm hands, and I wonder why he is sleeping shirtless in the winter. I wonder if he does it on purpose. Just to make me *want* to touch him. I thought I was going to bed... Hey... He just kisses me deeper. He holds me closer to his body. I'll tell you one thing, I'm glad I got the stitches out.  
  



	20. -Eternal-

^I don't feel dizzy, and I have no headache. I feel as though nothing can bother me... again... ever.^  
  
-Eternal-  
  
~Seifer  
  
I continued to kiss her as I wondered if we'd go anywhere with this. Even if we didn't, might as well savor the moment. My lips started to feel numb, so I let my tongue venture around. She accepted it. God, maybe she did loosen up. Fuu... If only we had a sofa, I could go somewhere with this. There's no way I can keep her going until we get to my room... or her room... Dammit. I don't think the floor is very accomodating, either. Oh well, maybe we should just stop... I tried to coax myself to pull away from her, but I couldn't. I got my tongue out of her mouth slowly, and just kissed her. Fujin, step away, or else I'll never stop. I felt her lips leave mine.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Oh god, I love you, Fuu..." She brought her lips to mine again. I could keep going with this forever... Finally I got up the courage to ask.  
  
"Let's... go into my room." Oh damn...  
  
"Mmm..." Was that a "yes?" Either way, I took her hand, and we went into my room, the cold nipping at my skin. Swallowing, I put my hand up the back of her shirt, fumbling with the clasp of her bra.  
  
"You sure you want to...?" I whisper in a low voice into her ear.  
  
"Yes..." Alright then. I undo her bra, and off goes her shirt, along with the bra. I look at her. So beautiful. Her pants go off, then her underwear, and as the final step, she unclasps my belt, and soon we are both completely bare. We move to the bed, and no more feelings are held back.  
  
~~~  
  
Waking up, I see her next to me... naked, under the blankets. It's clear we aren't going to work, instead, we'll just work Sunday. I watch her sleep. Finally, we are offically commited to one another. I don't feel dizzy, and I have no headache. I feel as though nothing can bother me... again... ever. Fuu...  
  
"Seifer... it's so cold..." She says, cuddling up to me. I put my arm around her, laying back down. I wonder how long she's been awake... with her eyes closed.  
  
"Seifer..." She looks at me, with both eyes, though she can only see out of one. She seems so little under the blankets, only an outline of her shown.  
  
"Hm...?"  
  
"I wanna stay here... with you... forever..." She closed her eyes. I swear, out of the many years I had known her, and studied her every move, that was the one time, where she had melted my heart. She just looked so innocent, and so lovable... I mean, if I didn't know her... for who she was, I'd be scared of her... So strong... not afraid of anything... But now, she was the person I wanted to be with forever... She always had been, this just proved it... and I had no more questions about her love for me.  
  
At about noon, I got up, and decided to let her sleep. I took a shower, and pulled on a pair of baggy black pants (I wasn't planning on going anywhere today), and called her and I in sick to work. I then walked into my bedroom, where I looked at Fujin, who was still sleeping.  
  
"Fuu." I said, realizing that I should probably wake her up.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Hey..." She sat up, pulling the blanket up with her, covering her breasts.  
  
"Seifer..." I walked over to her, and sat on the edge of my bed.  
  
"...Fujin..." I kissed her, and she put her arms around me, dropping the blanket. I wanted to take her again, but I also didn't want to pressure her too much, so, I backed off a bit. She looked up at me, as I looked at her body, as most of it was revealed.  
  
"I... had better get dressed..."  
  
"Mm..." I left the room, and sat in the kitchen. Soon, I heard the shower running. And I put on some coffee, though I knew neither of us would drink it. She came out, and smiled sheepishly at me. Don't be nervous, Fujin.  
  
"You call me into work?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Mm, thanks." It was clear that neither of us were quite ready to talk about last night, so I offered her some coffee.  
  
"Yeah, thanks." I handed it to her, and went into my bedroom, and then seen it... Seven bottles of aspirin lined up on the nightstand... That wasn't there before... Are those the aspirin that I kept "misplacing?"  
  
"Fujin!" I called.  
  
"What is it?" She asked, walking towards me.  
  
"You do that?" I ask, pointing to the nightstand.  
  
"Wha...? -No."  
  
"There's the missing aspirin..." I say suspiciously.  
  
"And that makes me positive that there have been SeeDs in our house..." Fujin concluded.  
  
"How?!"  
  
"Raijin..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He gave the key to Toni... which means he could've given it to every other girlfriend he has had..." She said, looking up at me.  
  
"He had a girlfriend who was a SeeD once..."  
  
"There you go..."  
  
"Looks like it's time to change the locks." I say, crossing my arms.  
  
"...Seifer, does this mean there could've been a SeeD in our house all night?!"  
  
"...Mhm..."  
  
"But we..."  
  
"Yep..."  
  
"Sei-fer!"  
  
"I say, we find, and kill the fucker, eh?"  
  
"Mhm!" We seperated and took our weapons. We found him in the basement, and scared him off. The best part was... we got our key back.  
  
I got dressed and went out and changed the lock anyway, figuring that they had made copies of the key. Sighing, I came back in, and looked at Fujin, she was staring out the window.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I dunno, I just don't like the idea of having someone in our house, that's all..."  
  
"Yeah, and the fact that Squall is still alive is irking me..."   
  
"Oh well, he can't come in here... Ever."  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"Oh, yeah, here is the new key." I handed it to her, and she smiled, putting it in her pocket.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Sure, it was no problem..."  
  



	21. -New-

^Seifer, why do you have to go and make yourself so hard to resist...?^  
  
-New-  
  
~Fujin  
  
No. I don't regret it. Of course not. It. Sex. I mean, I love him... of course I wouldn't regret it. The only problem was... He was acting as if nothing had even happened. Well, he had probably done "it" with so many girls... The only difference was that, with me, he loved me... Or he could just be trying his best to keep me from feeling uncomfortable. I'd like to think that it was the second reason, but, chances are it isn't. But, that's not something I'd enjoy asking him... But, I know, one night, when I'm really tired and out of it, I'll ask him... So, perhaps I'll just ask him now...  
  
"Em... Seifer...?"  
  
"Yeah?" I sat back in the window seat, and looked up at him, and he leaned against the wall.  
  
"C-can I ask you... a rather personal question?" ...Oh... god.  
  
"...Erm, sure, anything." ...Hm.  
  
"H-how... many..." My voice trails off, and for once, I'm at a loss for words.  
  
"How many... what?" Okay, just calm down. You are Fujin Sanada. You just say things... You don't think about them...  
  
"How many girls have you..." I try and find a way to say the word "sex..."  
  
"Fucked?" My god, Seifer! So vulgar... Heheh.  
  
"Y-yeah."  
  
"I dunno, three or four... but I've only made love to one, and that's you." ...I swallowed. Seifer... you are romantic in your own... little way... He knew he had me pressed for words, so he brought me to my feet, and kissed me softly, but passionately.  
  
"Why? Were you worried you were just another girlfriend?" I nod slowly, his face so close to mine.  
  
"No, Fujin, you're special... Your mine..." He kisses me again.   
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Fujin, lets-" There was a knock at the door. Dammit! Lets what? Keeping talking, Seifer! I frowned when he turned away from me, and opened the door.  
  
"What?!" He asked, seemingly annoyed at the interuption.  
  
"An express letter. Please sign here." Seifer scrawled down his name, and was handed an envelope. He opened it, shutting the door with his foot.  
  
"Fujin Sanada and Seifer Almasy..." He started to read aloud. Our two names... I never heard them... together... before... I like it... "You are invited to the wedding of..." I groaned inwardly, trying already to make up an excuse of why not to go. "Raijin Hefton and Toni Yamada. On Saturday, the 20th of December." He handed it to me, and I set it on the window seat, frowning.  
  
"Are you going to go?" I ask.  
  
"Well, of course. It's Raijin..."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"You aren't gonna go?"  
  
"I don't do social things like that."  
  
"Fuu... It's Raijin! He was in our posse!"  
  
"But, Seifer... you don't understand. I'm not the kind of person who dresses up and goes to places, and stays out late... and..."  
  
"...Fujin... you don't have to be. Just go to the wedding. For Raijin..."  
  
"Well, maybe... no. I can't."  
  
"Fuu... Just go to the wedding... For me." Why do you have to make things so difficult...? Seifer, why do you have to go and make yourself so hard to resist...?  
  
"...Uh... Fine."  
  
"Oh, good." ...Hah.  
  
"...Okay..."  
  
"Oh yeah, and Fujin you have to wear a dress..." No! No WAY!  
  
"N-no! Are you insane?!"  
  
"Oh come on..."  
  
"Okay, first of all, I don't wear dresses. No. They are just too... stupid-looking. Sure, they look great on Rinoa, but not on me." Rinoa... I hadn't brought her up with Seifer in while... He dated her... She left him. I hated her.  
  
"Oh, you don't know that... You never wear them, that's all... And doesn't have to be anything fancy, it's just that there's a reception after..."  
  
"...I'll think about it, alright?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
~~~  
  
For the rest of the day, everything was normal, and I slept in my own bed... Erm, I went to work the next day, and at the end of the day, another waitress, Selphie Tilmitt approached me. Now, Selphie is too happy to be someone I'd like to be around, but she's nice to me... I just back off from everyone else.  
  
"Heey!"  
  
"GREETINGS."  
  
"You're getting off early!"  
  
"YES. MUST BUY... CLOTHES FOR..."  
  
"Rajin's wedding?!" She knows? How?  
  
"HOW KNOW?!"  
  
"...Rinoa told me."  
  
"WHAT?! HOW SHE KNOW!?"  
  
"Well, you know... That Toni girl... is her cousin."  
  
"WHAT?! NO. IMPOSSIBLE."  
  
"Yeup! Its true!"  
  
"...Hmm..."  
  
"Heey, Fujin, do ya want me to take you shopping?"  
  
"NEGATIVE. WILL BE FINE."  
  
"Oh come on!"  
  
"N-no..."  
  
"...Please?"  
  
"...SELPHIE..."  
  
"Come on! We'll go to Deling, and I'll getcha back home by one AM!"  
  
"BUT-"  
  
~~~  
  
We arrived in Deling, and Selphie seemed to be quite at home there. I stood there, with my arms crossed as she browsed dresses.  
  
"How about this one?!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Okay, this one?"  
  
"...WHAT?! NOT SERIOUS...!"  
  
"Okay... Okay... come over here." I walked over to her, and she grabbed a short, dark blue dress with thin straps.  
  
"Selphie..."  
  
"Just try it on! We'll put it back if it doesn't look good."  
  
"...FINE." I walked into the dressing room, and pulled on the dress. It complemented my figure... Whatever figure it is that I have... but, it also cut down rather low, and was short.  
  
"How's it look!?" Asked her bubbly voice.  
  
"...DON'T LIKE."  
  
"Lemme see! Lemme see...!" I opened the door, sighing, and frowning.  
  
"Heey! It looks great!"  
  
"MAKE LOOK... LIKE... SLUT!"  
  
"...Does not!"  
  
"..."  
  
"All of the dresses here work like that. Just buy it, okay?! We need to get you shoes..." I knew then, that it would be a long night. She ended up getting me to buy make-up, mostly to cover the scar on my eye... I guess eyepatches don't work well with dresses.  
  
~~~  
  
I finally got home, and tossed the bag in my closet, and got dressed in pajamas, and not even waiting up for Seifer, went to bed.  
  



	22. -Forgiven-

^She glanced at Squall again. I needed... to help her... Get over him.^  
  
-Forgiven-  
  
~Seifer  
  
"God, I hate suits." I said, adjusting the collar of the white shirt I wore under the jacket.  
  
"Oh, stop it."  
  
"Well, at least you don't have to wear one! Damn, these things are uncomfortable..."  
  
"Yes, I have to wear a dress..."  
  
"Yeah, that's right too. You should get dressed."  
  
"I will, I will. But I have to tell you something first..." Hmm?  
  
"...Yes?"  
  
"...You know Rinoa?"  
  
"Yeah..." Rinoa...  
  
"Well, um, she's... she's..."  
  
"She is what?"  
  
"Toni's cousin... so, um, chances are she'll be at the wedding... and you know, I was thinking, she might bring Squall along with her..." Oh... shit.  
  
"...They can't do anything to us at a wedding."  
  
"...Mhm." She left, and I stared at myself in the mirror. Seifer, you've really done it this time. I shook my head and sighed, waiting for Fujin. Just in case, I brought my gunblade with me. Five minutes later, I heard the door to her room shut.  
  
"Seifer, you ready to go...? We're going to be late..."  
  
"Yeah..." I walked out of the bedroom just as she put on a black sweater over her dress. It was dark blue, and short, from what I could see (she was facing the other way, toward the front door). I'd never seen Fujin in a dress before, and so far, I like what I see.  
  
~~~  
  
She wasn't wearing her eyepatch, instead, she had covered up the scar with make-up of some sorts. Interesting, the things make-up can do. I sat and looked around, with Fujin next to me. Raijin was up at the front, waiting for the whole thing to start. He looked nervous. I scanned the room for Squall. No Squall. But I seen Rinoa. She had changed, since I last saw her. I guess she was a bridesmaid, because she wore a long, purple dress. She looked nice... I guess Fujin seen me staring at Rinoa, because she began to glare at the ground.  
  
"Hey." I said, tapping her on the shoulder.  
  
"Yeah?" She looked up.  
  
"I was just looking at Rinoa and..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"...Seeing how much better you look. And you look a whole lot better to me." She smiled.  
  
"Thank you..."  
  
"It's only the truth."  
  
~~~  
  
After the wedding, everyone moved to the reception hall. Fujin and I sat at a table, and that's when Squall showed up. Fujin and I watched as he waved to Rinoa, who walked over and kissed him. He looked like he was apologizing for being late, and then they sat at a table together.  
  
"Interesting..." She commented.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Hey, you guys, ya know?!" Raijin walked over to our table and sat next to us.  
  
"Hey, Raijin."  
  
"GREETINGS."  
  
"Yo, Fujin, Seifa!"  
  
"CONGRATULATIONS."  
  
"...Thanks, ya know?!"  
  
"Yeah..." I say dully.  
  
"You guys see Squall?! He's alive, ya know?!"  
  
"Yeah, how unfortunate. But he won't bother us."  
  
"Yeah, you've got a point, ya know?!"  
  
"Hey, Raijin. Come on. Let's dance." Toni said, walking up to him.  
  
"Sure, ya know? Hold on, though, I have to go see someone."  
  
"Okay. Hewo, Seifour." She greeted me.  
  
"H-hi..." I mutter, looking at her.  
  
"...How are ya?!"  
  
"I'm fine, yourself?"  
  
"I'm okay, ya know?! Hahahah. I'm married! Do ya believe it?"  
  
"Mm..."  
  
"Ooh, well, nice seein' ya! Buh-bye!" She left, and I looked over at Fujin, who seemed to be lost in thought.  
  
"You okay, Fujin?"  
  
"Yes, I'm okay."  
  
"I'm gonna go get a drink... You want anything?"  
  
"Yeah, get me whatever..."  
  
"O-okay." I left, and came back with our drinks. I glanced over at Rinoa, who was talking to Squall.  
  
"Thanks." She muttered, drinking the whole thing down with two gulps.  
  
"You sure you're okay?"  
  
"Yeah." We were basically silent for the next fifteen minutes, and every once and a while, I'd catch her glancing at Squall. I felt bad for her. She had tried to get close to someone, yet, he just betrayed her, and that is why I vowed never to betray Fujin, ever.  
  
"Seifer, I'm... I'm gonna go get another drink. I'll be right back." She stood up and walked over to the drink counter. I watched her every move. From how she took the money out of her purse to how she walked back towards me. She glanced at Squall again. I needed... to help her... Get over him. She came back over, and prepared to sit down, taking a sip of her drink, but I stood up.  
  
"I need to talk to you." I said.  
  
"Here? Can't it wait?" She drank the rest of her drink. God, she can drink alot.  
  
"Well, um, is there anywhere... private we could go?"  
  
"There's the handicap restroom..." She muttered, setting the glass down on the table.  
  
"Okay..." As we walked toward the door, I still had no clue as to exactly what I wanted to say. We walked in, and I locked the door behind us, looking at Fujin, who looked at me in question.  
  
"...I..." Oh, shit. What the hell did I want to say to her? I glanced around the room. It was a rather large bathroom, being a reception hall, and being handicap...  
  
"You what? Are you feeling alright?"  
  
"No... I mean, yeah, I'm feeling fine. I just wanted to tell you that... that..." She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"That...?"  
  
"I was watching you look at Squall." She looked at the ground.  
  
"N-no, I'm not saying I'm upset or anything..." She looked back up at me. "I just wanted to let you know... that... you should just forget about what happened between you two... It wasn't your fault, and I know you are hurt because of it... But I want to fix that..."  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"I also wanted you to forgive me..."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Not telling you how I felt earlier, because then..." I ran my fingers down her neck, where there was a scar. "This would've been avoided..."  
  
"...Its not your fault..."  
  
"...Oh, but it is..." I leaned in toward her and kissed her. I had wanted to do that all night. Ever since I seen her in that dress, I wanted to put my mouth against hers. Continuing to kiss her, I held her in my arms, feeling the bareness of her back, since she had long since taken off her sweater.  
  
"Hey, is someone in there, ya know?!" Raijin... Shit... I broke away from Fujin.  
  
"Its Raijin..." I whispered.  
  
"We can't very well walk out together."  
  
"Yes!" I said in a meek little voice. Fujin stifled a laugh, and I wiped away lipstick from my mouth.  
  
"Oh, sorry, ya know?! I'll wait for the other bathroom." I heard him walk away, and I looked at Fujin, who returned the gaze. In a few minutes, we were both at our table, and in higher spirits... The only problem being, I think we both got a little drunk.  
  
  



	23. -Drunk-

^I hate being drunk, tired, and out of it... Especially when he's drunk, tired, and out of it too.^  
  
-Drunk-  
  
~Fujin  
  
When we got home at around one AM, we were both semi-drunk and tired. I walked through the door, and immediately tossed my shoes on the floor near the door. I hated heels.  
  
"Those look painful."  
  
"They are."  
  
"Why'd you buy 'em?" Seifer asked tossing his jacket to the side and unbuttoning the first three buttons of his shirt.  
  
"I dunno, Selphie said they'd look good with the dress..."  
  
"Selphie? As in Selphie Tilmitt?"  
  
"Mm..."  
  
"She took you shopping?"  
  
"Yeah, or I wouldn't be wearing this tiny little dress." I muttered, running my fingers through my hair. "Or wearing this make-up."  
  
"It looks good... But I like you better without any of it on." I laughed, and I wouldn't have, had I not had so many of the gold-colored drinks. I'd excuse him though, because he was pretty drunk too. He came close to me, and slipped one of the straps of my dress off so it hung loosely by my shoulder. He kissed me, and moved slowly down my neck. He grabbed the zipper on the back of my dress and pull it down slowly. Oh...  
  
"Now, its our turn..."  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"What do you say I help you feel more comfortable? In my room..." He offered.  
  
"Mm, okay..." I hate alcohol... I hate being drunk... I hate being tired. I hate being drunk, tired, and out of it... Especially when he's drunk, tired, and out of it too.  
  
~~~  
  
The next morning I woke up alone in Seifer's bed, naked. I thought back to the previous night, and I could feel my face flush at the thought of some of the things we did. Embarassed, I looked around for my clothes. No where to be found. I rummaged through Seifer's draw until I found a rather large (even for him) black sweatshirt, and I put it on, stepping out of the room. Just take a shower. Take a shower... I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, not even bothering to look and see where Seifer was.  
  
After my shower, I wrapped myself in a towel, where I walked into my room. It seemed so empty now... I tossed the towel on the floor, and walked over into my closet, getting dressed in black pants, and a blue blouse. I walked into the kitchen. Where is Seifer...? I sighed, and made coffee, thinking about us last night. Sure, it had been all in good "fun," but I think he had said something very important to me, but I couldn't remember what it was for the life of me.  
  
"Fuu?" He came in the front door.  
  
"Where'd you go?" I ask, standing up, mug of coffee in hand.  
  
"I, uh... hadda go... do stuff..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I had to go... see Joe. He wanted to... tell me something. We met at the cafe."  
  
"Oh really, what'd he have to say?"  
  
"Just something about Dollet. That bastard is always wasting my time... Oh yeah, I also ordered us another sofa. It should be here in a few." ...Hm...  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Look, Fuu, about last night... I'm sorry, I was drunk, and stuff..."  
  
"Its okay. I was drunk too... So, its not your fault. ... And you know, its not like it was wrong..." I swallowed, trying not to show my discomfort. He smiled.  
  
"Well, anyway... I'm sorry about your nylons..." What?  
  
"What?"  
  
"I, um, destroyed them..." Not wanting to think about it, I nodded.  
  
"That's okay, didn't plan to wear them ever again anyway."  
  
"Heheh. Can I get some coffee?"  
  
"Sure." We walked into the kitchen, and I poured him a mug. He sat, drinking it. Then there was a knock at the door.  
  
"Who the fuck, now?!" I stepped aside as he walked toward the front door. I followed and standing on our doorstep, were Squall and Rinoa.  
  
"What?!" Seifer asked, crossing his arms.  
  
"Hey, Seifer..." Rinoa said.  
  
"Mm. Hi. Now, what did you want...?"  
  
"I convinced Squall to lay off arresting you."  
  
"But..." Squall interupted.  
  
"Yeah, what's the fucking catch?!"  
  
"...Fujin can't live with you. Or anyone, for that matter." What?! I stepped closer to Seifer.  
  
"What the fuck are you *talking* about...?!"  
  
"...Yeah, either you are arrested, or you are labeled as unsafe..."  
  
"What is the relevance!? Dammit! You don't HAVE to either. Its not going to affect you!"  
  
"Yeah, but you betrayed me...! And Rinoa.... And the rest of us... So, you deserve to suffer. And, taking Fujin away seems to be the best way... I mean, you guys couldn't keep your hands off eachother last night."  
  
"That's none of your friggin' business. You're just fucking SeeD, you can't do anything!"  
  
"That's right, we're SeeD, we can do what we want!" That's enough...  
  
"LEAVE. ENOUGH OF YOU!" I say.  
  
"Oh, if it isn't little Fujin. You still trust me?" Squall asks.  
  
"FUCK YOU. LEAVE NOW."  
  
"Squall, lets go..." Rinoa took his arm and left.  
  
"They are fucking SeeD... The *can* do anything..." Seifer muttered, shutting the door.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Fujin, no one's gonna take you away from me. Okay?"  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"I'll fucking kill Squall before he does. And after he's dead, there will be no more feuds against me... big ones, anyway..." Seifer... Oh, Seifer...   
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
"Its not your fault." He holds me. I've never felt so much love before as I had that month...  
  
"Fujin..."  
  
"Mm?"  
  
"I love you, more than anything else... I'm never gonna let anything happen to you... you know that, right?" Seifer... don't talk like that... You're acting weird...  
  
"Yeah... I love you too..."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Mm... yeah, its no problem... I mean... yeah... Seifer, are you okay?" I ask, looking up at him.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. I just don't like the way things are looking, that's all..."  
  



	24. -Secretive-

^ Laying on my bed, questions, so many of them, unintentionally popped into my mind... Bad thoughts.^  
  
-Secretive-  
  
~Seifer  
  
For the first time in a long time, I was scared. Scared of losing Fujin.   
  
"Seifer, everything will be fine... Squall can't do anything, the only reason he has is revenge..."  
  
"But still, all of the stuff I did, I'm sure they could do something..." Its true, Fuu, you know that...  
  
"I..." She started.   
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I... think... that we should..." Wow, whatever she had to say had to be very hard for her to say... Hm...  
  
"Fuu?"  
  
"I think that we should... kill him." I closed my eyes, trying to make what she had said fit...  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"...Yes... But, then again... if we get caught..."  
  
"We won't get caught." I say.  
  
"...How are you so sure?"  
  
"We'll devise a plan so perfect... with no flaws."  
  
"...Alright then." We seperated. Murder... She nods, and looks up at me.  
  
"You trust me?" I ask.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you sure you trust me?"  
  
"Of course, I trust you with my life..."  
  
"Good... because... I have a plan." I did. It was perfect... And it be set up so well, that it'd seem that he killed himself... Though, unfortunatly, it would require me to be with Rinoa... for a day.  
  
"...What is it?"  
  
"Come into the kitchen, we'll talk there..." She followed me into the kitchen, and we sat at the table.  
  
"Well... what is it?"  
  
"You know Squall, and how he's a deppressed little bastard, right?"  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"Well, you also know that the only thing that makes him happy is Rinoa... right?"  
  
"Are you saying we have to... um, kill Rinoa too?"  
  
"No, not at all! That wouldn't be harsh enough for him to *kill* himself..."  
  
"Oh? Then what?"  
  
"...Hm, your probably not gonna like this... and I don't either but..." Here goes.  
  
"...Mm?"  
  
"I'm gonna have to get back together with Rinoa..."  
  
"What!?"  
  
"...Yeah... but if you have a better idea, by all means..." Oh damn...  
  
"I don't..."  
  
"Okay then..." It's me that should have the problem with it...  
  
"Seifer?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can you not... have sex with her...?"  
  
"...Of course not."  
  
"Thank you..."  
  
We spent until midnight, making the plan work. Trying to work out any bugs. We made sure Squall had an actual gun, and the like. Finally Fujin yawned.  
  
"It... seems set." She says.  
  
"It does..."  
  
"Good night, Fujin." I say as she stands up and walks toward her bedroom. Something's bothering her. I don't think it's the sex we had, either... I noticed it before Squall came, so it's not that...  
  
"See you, Seifer." She shut the door to her room and I sighed, remaining at the kitchen table. This would take some work... Perhaps I had said something to upset her last night. I don't remember. As a matter of a fact, I only remember one thing that I said, and I don't think *that* would bother her that sort of extent... Maybe I said something else... Damn, I hate being drunk. I was tried, but not sleepy. I walked over to the counter, and poured myself some remaining coffee. Maybe I could stay up all night...  
  
I woke up the next morning with my face stuck to the table.   
  
"Shit... I fell asleep..."  
  
"Yeah, you did." Looking up, I seen Fujin filling a mug with coffee. She set it in front of me.  
  
"Do you want to set the plan to work today?" I ask.  
  
"You had better, it's gonna take a few days."  
  
"Yeah, I just gotta stand clear of fucking Leonheart."  
  
"Mm..."  
  
"Well, I gotta get to work. See you." Grabbing my Hyperion on the way out I headed off to work. I'm sure Fujin left shortly after.  
  
At around eleven pm, I got off work and came home. Fujin wasn't home yet. The first thought that passed through my head was Squall. But I brushed it off, realizing that it was still early, and she wouldn't be home for another fifteen or so minutes. Now was perfect time to make the call. I glanced over at the "Balamb Garden Dormitory Phone Book" that I picked up at work, and found Rinoa's number.  
  
"Hello?" Mumbled a tired voice into the phone.  
  
"You alone?"  
  
"Yes... is this Seifer?" Unfortunately for you...  
  
"Mhm."  
  
"Hey... what's the matter?"  
  
"Can you meet me at the cafe in Dollet tommarow...? At noon?" I'll just take a lunch break, which means I'll have to work late...  
  
"...Why?"  
  
"I need to talk to you... Oh, and Rinoa?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Please don't tell Squall..."  
  
"Sure... Good night, Seifer..."  
  
"Good night." I hung up the phone and tossed the phone book on the floor with distaste. The door opened and in walked Fujin. It seemed still that something was bothering her.  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"...GREETINGS." Ah, shit. She's in a bad mood. I'm going to bed.  
  
"...I was, just heading to bed. I called Rinoa, she's gonna meet me tommarow..."  
  
"I SEE. GOOD NIGHT."  
  
"Bye." I walked into my room, and sighed, pulling off my shirt and tossing it on the floor to pick up later. Kicking off my boots, I plopped on my bed. It was cold, I needed a shower... Damn, and as if life couldn't get any worse, the doorbell rang. I knew it wasn't fucking Leonheart, because he was to stupid to see that we had a doorbell. He always knocked. I silently stepped out of my room, and watched as Fujin opened the door and peered outside. She took something out of her pocket... Gil? I over heard their conversation.  
  
"So, ...you'll call me."  
  
"AFFIRMATIVE."  
  
"That's gonna be 8000 gil."  
  
"ALRIGHT." She handed him all the gil she had.  
  
"Good night..."  
  
"FAREWELL." She shut the door and turned just as I stepped back into my room. Who the fuck was that? Laying on my bed, questions, so many of them, unintentionally popped into my mind... Bad thoughts.  
  
"Dammit..." I muttered, feeling dizzy. It was the first time that I had felt dizzy in a long time.  
  



	25. -Weak-

^Please, Seifer, you'll be better off if you just leave me alone... You don't need to know this...^  
  
-Weak-  
  
~Fujin.  
  
There goes all of my money. All of the money I had tucked away for me... I spent on him... Why? Why did I care? Why did it matter? Sighing, I picked up the "Balamb Garden Dormitory Phone Book" off of the floor, and set it on the table. I waited around in the kitchen for an hour, then let myself into Seifer's room. It was so cold in there... I looked at the floor, where his shirt was thrown. Picking it up, I glanced at him, sleeping, with a look of distress on his face. Seifer... what's wrong? I put the shirt in a basket, and kneeling by his bedside, I stared at him, watching him sleep. I put my hand on his chest, and felt his steady breathing. I had just come in here to see him; check on him, whatever you wanted to call it, but, instead I fell asleep, unintentionally.  
  
I woke up in his bed, sleeping next to him, and wondered how I got there. He must have woken up and put me next to him. Sighing, I stood up and walked into the bathroom.  
  
After my shower, Seifer went in and took one. He didn't say two words to me, which irked me.  
  
"Um, do you want some coffee?" I asked when he came out.  
  
"N-no, I really should be getting to work..."  
  
"Okay... bye..." He left, and I sighed, still trying to think of what he had said to me that night; the night of Raijin's wedding. The night our posse broke up. The night... we were alone. I could remember it as being important, but I did not know what it was... I didn't want to ask him either.  
  
"Seifer..." I muttered blankly, picking up my bag, and leaving, for work.  
  
When I came home, Seifer wasn't home. Sighing, I glance at my watch. Its 1:30 AM. Seifer... you were supposed to be home a half hour ago... Maybe Rinoa wanted to see you after work... I don't know... An hour later, I'm sitting in the kitchen, waiting for him, when he walks in. He heads directly into the kitchen, and I can see that he still looks like something is bothering him.  
  
"Hey, Fujin." He says, setting his gunblade aside, and tossing his trechcoat on the chair  
  
"You see Rinoa?"  
  
"Yep... My plan is working out perfectly. She doesn't want to break Squall's heart, so she's gonna see me *seperately.*"  
  
"Mm, what'd you tell her about us...?"  
  
"That I'd see you *seperately.*" I wasn't upset. I knew it was fake... Okay, maybe I was a little uneasy about the situation, but it'd work out okay... Right? He sighed, and leaned against the wall. He grabbed the coffee pot and drank the remaining coffee... right out of the pot...  
  
"I'll be right back..." He says, walking into his bedroom. He walks back out barefoot, and shirtless, with baggy black pants on.  
  
"Seifer, what's the matter?" Tell me, I know something's bothering you...  
  
"...Nothing. I'm just tired."  
  
"No... You were like that this morning..." I stand up, and walk over to him. Then the phone rings. I can see him become angry. He doesn't like giving out our phone number, because the phone is his enemy.  
  
"Who the fuck knows our number?"  
  
"I don't know... Maybe its the wrong number." I walk over and pick it up, praying its not him.  
  
"WHO?" I mutter into the phone.  
  
"Hey..." Says a husky voice. It's him.  
  
"Told. Not call here." I say in a whisper, glancing up at Seifer, who looks at me oddly.  
  
"I have a question..."  
  
"Yes. What is?"  
  
"This guy... is he... strong?"  
  
"Yes. Could say that."  
  
"Alright..."  
  
"GOODBYE." I hung up the phone, and look at Seifer, hoping he wouldn't ask who it was, but knowing he would.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"Bill collector..."  
  
"Oh really?"   
  
"Mhm..." I try to walk by him, but he stands in the doorway. I swallow. Seifer no...  
  
"Don't make me hit the call-back button..." Oh god, Seifer, no! I look at him.  
  
"Go... ahead." I say, glaring at him.  
  
"I will." He walked toward the phone, and hit a button. I wish I had left.  
  
"The number is fucking scrambled, Fujin." He says slamming down the phone and looking at me. His muscles bulge with anger as he walks toward me.  
  
"Tell me if I'm wasting my time with you, Fujin...!" No, Seifer, I'm not seeing anyone else... I just... I just... Oh god...  
  
"No..." I whisper in a meek voice.  
  
"Well then WHO THE FUCK WAS ON THE PHONE?!! And, who the fuck was at the door, last night?! You gave him eight-thousand gil! ..." He seen that? Oh... shit...  
  
"Seifer... please."  
  
"Tell me, Fujin! That's what's been frigging bothering me all day! So fucking TELL ME!" ...I back away.  
  
"Seifer... please, it doesn't concern you."  
  
"Oh, but it does! Everything that has anything to do with you matters to me...!"  
  
"I..." Almost telling him, I shut my mouth.  
  
"Come on, finish telling me... I know your weakness... I can make you tell me..." Seifer!  
  
"...Please, Seifer, just leave it alone. It's better off that way..."  
  
"Where'd you get the money...?!"  
  
"...I had been saving it away... should I need it."  
  
"What'd you spend it on?!"  
  
"...Nothing."  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"Seifer... please... Just leave it alone!" Please, Seifer, you'll be better off if you just leave me alone... You don't need to know this...  
  
"I'm not going to let you get away without telling me." He cornered me into a wall.  
  
"Seifer...!" No, I can hold it back. I don't need to tell him! He grabbed me, and started kissing me... My weakness? You're my weakness?   
  
"Tell me..." He said, continuing to kiss me.  
  
"Stop it..." I said, but kissed him back. I guess you are my weakness...  
  
"Tell me, Fuu."  
  
"Please..." I said, kissing him deeper.  
  
"Now, Fuu..."  
  
"I... hired an assassin." I blurted out, then he kissed me still.  
  
"For who?"  
  
"...Squall." I said, finally managing to break away from his kiss.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"...That's not important."  
  
"But, I've got a plan." He says, his arms still having me trapped.  
  
"It was just a backup plan..."  
  
"An eight-thousand dollar backup plan? You're more sensible than that. The real reason now." He kissed me.  
  
"I-I was afraid... that..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You might want to go off with Rinoa... So, I knew Squall would be after you more, if you did that... so, I wanted to make sure he died..."  
  
"Fujin... I could never leave you, not now..." He kissed me passionately.  
  
"Seifer... I need to go think... alone... if you don't mind..."  
  



	26. -Silent-

^...And I treated her just like a member of my posse... But, I knew, deep down, that she was more... so much more.^  
  
-Silent-  
  
~Seifer  
  
She really thought that? Fuu... I seen her walk into her bedroom. Fujin, I wouldn't leave you. I *couldn't* leave you... Fujin. Even if I did go off with Rinoa, she still didn't want me imprisoned. She'd still kill Squall... Fuu... No. I can't let you think that our relationship is in jepordy because of Squall, I won't let you think that... I guess I had been quick to settle on my idea for going back with Rinoa... I hadn't meant anything by it though... I walked into her room, just letting myself in. Then I felt it. It was so unusually cold in here too... Why? I thought it had been just my room. But it seemed now that it was colder than my room. The air was circulant, though their were no windows open.  
  
"Fujin." I called out into the darkness. I seen her. She was standing in front of the window, looking out.  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"Yes...?" She turned.  
  
"What made you think that I would leave you for Rinoa...?" I asked, walking toward her.  
  
"I-I just thought that maybe you'd realize that you'd be happier with her... I think you would be..." No, you don't...  
  
"Fujin, I'm perfectly content with you, and frankly, I don't think I could be much happier in a relationship." I said, putting my hand on her shoulder.  
  
"I know, I know... I just..."  
  
"Come on, Fujin, we're supposed to be together... Get used to it. I'm never leaving your side."  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"Fuu... Let's just enjoy what we have... no more questions... I trust in you, and your love for me... Let's make those feelings... mutual."  
  
"Alright..."  
  
"Fujin...?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why is it so cold in here? Isn't my room always the cold one?"  
  
"Mm, I noticed that too... Maybe it's the heating, is your room cold all year around?" Never been in my room before these last few weeks, have you? I'm sorry, Fujin. Raijin and I should have shared a room. You are a female. I should have given you privacy... Getting away from my thoughts, I whispered a hoarse "Yeah..." and then realized how quickly we had changed subjects.  
  
"Fujin, how did you find this assassin? I mean, what, do they have an assassin hotline?"  
  
"Um, unless you want to hear a story... Let's just say I meet alot of odd people..." I really didn't want to hear the story, but, I figured, why not ask anyway?  
  
"I'll hear the story."  
  
"Are you sure?" What are you hiding?  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"Um... okay then." She walked over to the window and stared out, leaning on the sill.  
  
"I met him... a long time ago... back when we were still at Garden..." What? I didn't see you doing anything with other men...  
  
"Did you have a... relationship with him...?"  
  
"I guess... you could say that..." She didn't remove her gaze from out the window... I missed that? I missed her having a realationship.  
  
"Anyway, I liked the relationship, it almost seemed wrong... He was an assassin... I believe he was out to kill the headmaster..."  
  
"He failed?! Oh, this is promising..."  
  
"N-no..."  
  
"But friggin' Cid is still around."  
  
"Would you let me finish?" She turned her head and looked at me, then continued to gaze out the window.  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"Its okay. But, I convinced him otherwise... I guess I never really loved him, he was just so mysterious to me... And, you were with Rinoa at the time, so I thought chances of you ever even coming near me in a relationship were slim to none... but... I felt guilty. Everytime he kissed me... Guilt washed over me... I know I don't seem like a person who... would feel guilty for something like that... especially for when you were out with Rinoa... but I did... And I told him how I felt... He told me to call him, should I ever need anything." Wow... she ruined her relationship with an assassin for me? Because she loved me? ...And I treated her just like a member of my posse... But, I knew, deep down, that she was more... so much more.  
  
"Fujin..."  
  
"He cut the price in quarters. It was normally supposed to be 32,000 gil... but..." I put my hand on her shoulder, and she turned and looked up at me.  
  
"...He'll get the job done, Seifer. Or he'll die trying." Now, I felt incredibly guilty. "Oh, and Seifer?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Don't mention this to anyone. It's a secret. Everything with him is."  
  
"Of course." Fujin sighed, and without saying anything to me, climbed into bed. I know the talk we had about him had saddened her, but I guess it was something I needed to know...  
  
"Good night, Fujin."  
  
"Mm, same to you..." I left, and went into my room. It was cold, as usual, but, warm, compared to Fujin's room. I wonder what had happened... to make her room so cold. I fell asleep.  
  
When I woke up, Fujin had already left for work. I wondered when she had told the assassin to do his workings... Sighing, I grabbed some leftover coffee and my Hyperion, and headed off to work. I worked alone, that day, since Joe was on a sick day. I was glad, I liked working alone. So, while patrolling the path to the Tower, Rinoa came.  
  
"Rinoa? What the hell are you doing here?!" Nice greeting, I know.  
  
"...Well, I just need to talk to you." Then it hit me. I was still supposed to be going out with her. Shit.  
  
"Y-yeah? About what?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking of just leaving Squall and going with you... just you... but, you have to get rid of Fujin..." ...Oh, fuck... We'll sound suspicious if I just say no... Because Squall is gonna be dead soon anyway... Fuck...  
  
"I'll need to think about it." I say, finally.  
  
"...Alright! Well, I gotta get back to Garden, see you." She came all the way here to tell me that? Damn...  
  
~~~  
  
When I got home, Fujin was staring out the window, and I tossed my trenchcoat on the sofa, which must have arrived, and I walked over to Fujin.  
  
"They bring the sofa in, or?"  
  
"It was out on the front step when I got home."  
  
"You brought it in by yourself?"  
  
"Mhm..."  
  
"You should've waited for me."  
  
"I couldn't. Freezing rain."  
  
"Yeah, but..."  
  
"It wasn't that heavy."  
  
"...Okay..."  
  
"Fujin, when did you tell that... assassin guy to kill Leonheart?"  
  
"...Tommarow."  
  
"Oh, I see." I walked into my bedroom, which was colder than usual, and pulled off my clothes, in change for a black t-shirt, and dark blue sweatpants. Sighing, I walked out, and turned up the heat.  
  
"It still cold in your room?" I ask her.  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"Oh, uh, okay..." There was silence.  
  
"Is something bothering you?" I ask, finally.  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes, there is."  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Come on now."  
  
"I was just thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"It's not important."  
  
"It is to me... What is it?"  
  
"I was just thinking about... us."  
  



	27. -Punished-

^You may love me, Seifer... But then, how come you do this?^  
  
-Punished-  
  
~Fujin & Seifer  
  
Wishing I hadn't said anything, I continued to gaze out the window.   
  
"What about us?" Why do I even say anything? I need to stop doubting things... but I can't help it! Seifer... he's fearless. Without any doubts.  
  
"Um, just about our future as... us." I manage slowly.  
  
"...What's botherin' ya about that?"  
  
"I don't know... I was just thinking about it, that's all..."  
  
"Mhm... Well, once this whole Squall thing is over, we'll talk about us..." I'm beginning to dread the day.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Now, come on, let's go to bed, okay?"  
  
"Mm." Well, we went to bed, though I didn't sleep. I went into the kitchen at around four AM, and drank a whole pot of coffee, then took a shower. After my shower, I was about to leave for work early (it was around 5 AM) when Seifer walked out of his bedroom.  
  
"Where are you going so early?" He asks, scratching his head.  
  
"Um... to work."  
  
"Why so early? You don't have to be in for another four hours." I chewed at my lower lip, trying to think of something to say.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I guess I just wanted to get some extra money... because I spent all of the money I had tucked away on the assassin." I said all of this painfully slowly, making it up as I said it. The truth was that I was trying to avoid him. I didn't like how he looked at me. He just *stared,* and said nothing. Sighing, I turned around.  
  
"It seems to me like you are avoiding me." Damn, he's good.  
  
"Seifer, what makes you think that? I wouldn't avoid you."  
  
"Then come over here." I walked over suspicious of him. "Now, I want you to go into the kitchen, and make me coffee. Then, when I get out of the shower, you are still gonna be sitting right there, at the kitchen table. ...Ya got that?"  
  
"Heheh, yes." He walked into the bathroom, and I walked into the kitchen. I turned on the coffee maker, putting coffee and water in their proper places, then sat at the table. He came out, five minutes later, and smiled at me, pouring himself the coffee I had made. Seifer... I nearly jumped when the phone rang. Seifer and I exchanged glances as I stood up and reached for the receiver.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Would you take a collect call from the B. District prison?"  
  
"YES."  
  
"Hey..." It was him. The assassin. Lloyd.  
  
"L-Lloyd..." I whispered into the phone.  
  
"You'll never guess where I am..."  
  
"...Where...?"  
  
"I-in..." That was the first time I ever heard him stutter. "...jail."  
  
"You were...?"  
  
"I got him. Do not worry. I never fail. Especially for you."  
  
"B-but... when will you be out...?"  
  
"Twenty years." Lloyd... Oh... I'm so sorry.  
  
"I apologize..."  
  
"It is fine. I will keep you out of the court case... and Almasy..."  
  
"Lloyd no. Tell them the truth. I won't have you go to-"  
  
"I'll stay in here for being an assassin still. There is no reason you should waste your life too. Farewell, Fujin. I will always care for you."  
  
"..." I hung up the phone, and stared blankly at Seifer, who asked who it was.  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"It was the wrong number." I had kept my voice low, so I don't think he heard any part of the conversation.  
  
"Oh, heh, okay." Why didn't I want to cause any trouble? Then it hit me. Maybe Lloyd didn't want to cause any trouble either...   
  
"Seifer, what's the punishment for murder?" I ask. He sips his coffee.  
  
"Errrm, in Balamb?"  
  
"Mmm..."  
  
"Death, I think. Why?" No... no! No!  
  
"I was just wondering."  
  
"...Alright..."  
  
"Seifer, we should get going for work..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, you know, you don't want to be late..." I need to be alone.  
  
"Yeah, you're right."  
  
"...Bye, Seifer."   
  
"Bye." He left. Work was down the street. I didn't have to leave for an hour or so... Sighing, I went into my room, trying deperately to find out the right thing to do.  
  
~Jump.to.Seifer.  
  
Wrong number, my ass. I watched from the window as she went into her room. I silently entered the house, and walked into the kitchen. I looked at the empty chair she once sat in, and sighed, picking up the phone, and hit the "call-back" button, that had become my friend as of late.  
  
"Hello, you've reached the B. District prison... press one for..." I slammed down the phone. ...Why would she lie to me?  
  
~Jump.to.Fujin.  
  
I heard a noise, mid-thought. What the hell was that?! Jogging into the kitchen, where the sound came from, I seen Seifer, who looked up.  
  
He ripped a button off of the phone, and threw it at the ground in front of my feet. I knew I was in trouble... Dammit, I can't do anything right. There's always critizism, always anger! Directed towards me. You may love me, Seifer... But then, how come you do this? I glanced at the small peice of plastic at my feet. The call-back button. As I thought.  
  
"Seifer... Let me explain..."  
  
"Yeah, you better do some friggin' explaining." ...Seifer. I bit my lower lip and looked him in the eye. I could feel my body trembling, despite my desperate attempts to stop it. My lower lip quivered, and my eye burned. No. I won't cry. It's stupid, useless, and childish.  
  
"He killed Squall. Squall's dead. No more Squall..."  
  
"So, why the fuck did I get the prison?"  
  
"He... got caught. He's in prison. He promised he wouldn't bring us into it... But it's all my fault! I told him to. What if your plan worked, Seifer?! Then he would be able to live... Seifer..." Stop it. Stop, Fujin! Dammit. I have to stop... Its not a big deal... I've killed people before, why do I care?! Seifer, you made me care. Its your fault... No... Its mine... It was then I realized how silent Seifer had become.   
  
~Jump.to.Seifer.  
  
For me. Someone was dying for me. And Fujin. No. I won't have that. NO! Just because I wouldn't go to prison. Just because I'm a *stuborn,* egoistc bastard who doesn't give a fuck about the world around him. Just himself. I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't even deserve to live. This assassin. He could make Fujin happy, but all I've brought are tears... to everyone, but myself. I need to be punished.  
  
"Fujin..." She looks up.  
  
"Y-yeah?"  
  
"I've made a decision, and I think its for the best..." She nodded, telling me to go on.  
  
"I'm gonna turn myself in. You've got no part in this."  
  
"Seifer! No...! Don't." Fuck, Fujin, stop it. You're making it harder. No, don't cry. Fujin. Why do you have to do this? Why do you have to cry?  
  
"Please, Seifer, don't..."  
  
"Fujin, its something I have to do..."  
  
"No, Seifer! Oh, please, no..." She walked over to me, and stopped when she was about six inches away.  
  
"Please, you can't change my mind. You're only making it harder..." At this point, I wanted to cry. But, of course, I couldn't do that.  
  
"But, its my fault, not yours! Please, Seifer, just listen to me..."  
  
"Fujin! Stop it..."  
  
"...N-no. You aren't gonna do this, no! I won't let you!"  
  
"Fuu... please, just stop it. They probably won't kill me. They'll just do stuff. Put me in prison for awhile...  
  
"Seifer, no! You don't have to do this... Just, please?!"  
  
"N-no... I have to go."  
  
"Seifer!" I stepped by her, and she came after me, grabbing my arm.  
  
"You can't leave me, Seifer. Not now... Not ever. You said... You said to me... the other night... Raijin's wedding night... I couldn't remember it, but now I do... You said that you wanted to stay with me forever, and you'd never leave me... Seifer, you *can't* leave." I had said that... I meant it. But, I didn't expect this to happen. This is just something I have to do.  
  
"Fujin... I love you. I always will. And I want to stay here, forever, with you. But I can't. I must do this. Honor."  
  
"So, honor is more important than me?!" Fujin, don't do this!  
  
"No... I'll come back, Fuu. I promise." ...I'll try.  
  
"Seifer, no." She somehow found her way into my arms, and I held her.  
  
"Please, I will see you again, Fuu... don't... worry."  
  
~~~  
  
Jump.to.Fujin  
  
I shouldn't have let him go... I tried... but I couldn't hold him back. I got word today, that he'd be in there for ten years. I'd be thirty-four in ten years, yet, he left... Maybe... we weren't meant to be... I sat on the floor, and brought my knees up to my chest, and cried. So, now the only thing left for me to do is wonder... Will I ever see you again... my Seifer Almasy?  
  



	28. -Frozen-

^I vowed that day, that the next person I would speak to would be Seifer.^  
  
-Frozen-  
  
Around three years had passed. I remained absolutely silent since that day. Imagine, not saying one word, in three years... The whole house was cold. I slept in Seifer's room every night, trying to smell him off of his clothes. But the smell of leather and blood had faded greatly. Seifer was in my every thought, everyday, but there was that fear... that he would have fallen out of love with me... Did it matter? Was he even alive? No matter how many angry and threatening emails and faxes I sent the prison, they wouldn't give me any information on him, even if he was still in the prison. Would he even come home when he came out? Or would someone, like Rinoa, have done something to lengthen his sentence...? It had been exactly three years to the day that Seifer left me... At the end of the day, at one AM, it became clear to me that he wasn't coming back. Ever. Ten years... I can't wait that long! That asinine bitch must have done something... My Seifer... I vowed that day, that the next person I would speak to would be Seifer. It looked now that I'd never speak again. I had the urge to talk. The urge for some sort of sound to come out. The sudden wanting to hear my own voice... But that need was nothing in comparison to hearing Seifer's voice... to seeing Seifer... Sighing, I went into my room. It was no different from the rest of the house. The whole place had been taken over with the coldness of Seifer's room. But... me... my heart, and all of my feelings, had reached their freezing point. I exited my room after getting dressed in a tight t-shirt and baggy pants, and went into Seifer's room. I sat on his bed, and polished his Hyperion, which had become a nightly ritual, to keep his prized possession in shape until he came back. *If* he came back. I had a really hard time sleeping. I kept thinking about him, and how the chances of me seeing him again were getting closer to "none" everyday.   
  
I didn't understand... how someone could be so *despondent*, like me.  
  
It was *foolish* of me, to let him go.  
  
I was an *ignorant* bitch, who didn't take responsibility for anything she did.  
  
I had a *fragile* heart. I thought it would break... but instead it just froze over.  
  
I had just wasted three years, being *dazed. *  
  
I had to get *involved* with Seifer... why? Maybe he would not have been in jail now... had I not expressed my feelings.  
  
I was so damned *tired* of being alone...  
  
I just ended up getting *hurt* and hurting Seifer.  
  
Seifer may have felt dizzy for a long time... because of me, but for the last three years, it's been a long *dizzy* spell.  
  
I feel so *guilty* for what happened, it makes my head spin.  
  
I wonder what would have happened, had I just been *honest* from the start...  
  
Maybe if I die, things will get *better...*  
  
I'm just *concerned* for his well being now... Not for my own.  
  
He's so *important* to me... and I let him go!  
  
Seifer... perhaps you feel *betrayed* by me... I let you take my blame...  
  
I know now... that we can never go back... to when things were *perfect. *  
  
I feel so *ashamed, * dammit, I deserve to die!  
  
If only I had stayed *uptight...*  
  
I want to be *healed...* But only you, Seifer, can heal me...  
  
You said we'd have *eternal* love, but look at what I have done...!  
  
I'll never have a *new* love Seifer...  
  
Will I ever be *forgiven? *  
  
The last few years has been like being *drunk* without alcohol.  
  
Will my life remain *secretive* forever... or will you come back?  
  
God dammit, I feel so *weak* without you...  
  
Will I remain *silent* forever?  
  
I need to be *punished. *  
  
With that last thought in my head, I fall asleep. I wake up at three AM, and look around. No Seifer. Dammit! I walk into the bathroom, not fully conscience of what I'm about to do. Sleeping pills. No one will notice I'm dead. Raijin, I haven't heard from Raijin... Seifer, your in jail... So, lets see. That leaves only me. No. I can't do this, what if he comes home... I walk back into his bedroom. Sleep. Sleep this out.  
  
I wake up the next morning. No Seifer. I don't even bother to go to work. I make the coffee back there now; I'm no longer a waitress, since I refuse to speak. Three years... such a long time, without you, Seifer. I don't think I can stand it anymore. I'm going to have to take my life. My heart is frozen over, and I've been alone, and silent for the last three years. I can't live like that anymore. No more! No. I can't take it. No. Maybe I'll just sleep for the rest of my life... I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. My silver hair is longer now... I haven't bothered to cut it, so it reaches the past my shoulders. I don't wear my eye patch anymore either. No one is going to see me anyway... There's something about my longer, silver hair that I like, for some reason. It's either that, or I'm too lazy to cut it.   
  
I take a shower, and then just fall asleep on the sofa. I wake up at around 7pm, and go into the kitchen, and eat a piece of bread. Nice diet, very healthy. I glance at the coffee maker, and feel sad, remembering all of the times Seifer attempted to make coffee... Seifer... I was lonely... So very lonely. I just wanted to feel his strong arms around me. I wanted to feel secure, dammit! It starts to rain. It never snows in Balamb town during the winter... Always rains. Freezing rain. I walk into Seifer's room, and just stand there, staring at the wall where you could see where he did an awful job puttying up the hole he made. Seifer. I want to say your name. I want to hear you say my name. Seifer! Not able to stand in his room anymore, I walk out, and stop in the middle of the living room, in front of the front door, because I hear a noise. My heart starts to pound. The doorknob is fumbled with. I stand there, blankly. I feel so many emotions. What if it's Seifer? I can't do anything I'm frozen there. My breathing becomes ragged as the door opens. I wait anxiously for a vision of who it is. There he is. Seifer. My Seifer Almasy. We just stand there, staring at each other. No one says or does anything. Seifer... you're here. Right in front of me. He looks older... His hair is cut roughly... Why can't I move? I try and say his name, but nothing comes out.  
  
"F-Fujin." He finally stammers.  
  
"Seifer..." I say. My voice has changed. It's softer now. I walk toward him, and he holds me. My Seifer... You're back...  
  
~Jump.to.Seifer.  
  
I'm holding her. God, I needed to hold her for so long. All of those awful long years in prison... Fuu... She looks so different. She's so painfully thin, and her hair is longer. Her voice is softer. She feels so fragile...  
  
"I was so afraid you wouldn't be here... Fuu..."  
  
"I was so afraid you would never come back..."  
  
"I couldn't leave you forever... Hell, Fujin, I've missed so much... of you... You've changed..."  
  
"No, Seifer... I haven't said a word... I haven't spoken since that day when you left me... For those last three years... I've lived on bread, and coffee. Nothing felt right, without you here... I was all alone, Seifer... I love you..." She didn't let go of me, she just held me tightly, as if she were holding me for the last time. Like there was no tomorrow. I ran my fingers through her long, soft, hair, and smiled, happy that she was in my arms again.  
  
"I'm sorry, Fujin..."  
  
"N-no, Seifer... It's not your fault... You made the right choice..." I kissed her. Her mouth was cold. Come to think about it, she was cold. The whole house was cold.  
  
"Is the heat on?" I ask, finally.  
  
"Mm, the whole house is cold... Just like your room..." She buried her face in my shoulder.  
  
"Fujin, I'm so sorry... So, so sorry..."  
  
"...No..." She said.  
  
"I'm never going to leave you again. I mean it. No matter what happens."  
  
"Three years..." She cries into my shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry..."  
  
"Three YEARS!" She cries out, looking up at me.  
  
"Fuu..."  
  
"Seifer... I didn't last... I couldn't. Look at me!" Fujin, I know... please...  
  
"Fujin... I couldn't let him die... for something I caused..."  
  
"Lloyd doesn't matter... you do..."  
  
"But, Fuu..."  
  
"SEIFER! Stop it...! Just don't leave me... EVER again..."  
  
"I won't. Fujin, I won't." She buries her face in my chest.  
  
"Three...fucking... years..." She's crying. Fujin, I never meant to make you cry... Three years... I'm so sorry...  
  
"Fujin... I love you... and I'm so sorry... I don't know if you'll ever forgive me... But..."  
  
"I forgive you, Seifer. You are automatically forgiven for anything you do... But..."  
  
"I want you to marry me." I say finally. She looks up, ceasing to cry.  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"Y-yes, of course..." I kiss her. I know I will never be able to make up for the three years I've lost with her, but this is the best I can do...  
  
"Seifer... how did you get out early...?"  
  
"Well, they needed room in the prison, so they were gonna just flat out execute me. But some solider listened to my story... with only a few dramatizations on my part, and he just let me go..."  
  
"Seifer..." I feel so guilty for what I've done to her. Ruined her. Three years of her... Fujin... Is it possible, that there maybe still a chance to live happily ever after... Like most stories... with a Knight, and his love... It sure took awhile, but perhaps... there is still a chance of some happiness, and warmth, that I can put back into her life.  
  
~Jump.to.Fujin.  
  
So he's back... I don't care how he got back, or why... I'll save that... But the only thing that is important to me is the fact that he's here with me, and will never leave me.  
  
  
~And so, like most fairy tales with a Knight, and his love... Seifer and Fujin Almasy... They did live happily ever after... The only difference was... It was no fairy tale romance... But it was a *real* romance. The End.  



End file.
